This week’s episode features a guest spot from DJ Sluyter, who recently had an article written about him in some magazine you may have heard of, Rolling Stones, no big deal. Anyways, we talk about things like how much money you would need to be a girl for the rest of your life, would you rather have your dad walk in on you fucking your dog, or your dog walk in you fucking your dad (a familiar would you rather if you are a true fan), the fact that alligators are taking over the world, and a bunch of other silly shit. Follow us on Twitter @einsteinskrypto and shoot us some questions that we will address on air. Peace, one love.


And now we have our fourth episode. Kowboy went out and bought a shit ton of equipment to make us sound a hell of a lot better and lets us do cool things like talk in demons voices and shit. This is definitely the best one to date, and it even features a guest spot form the asshole himself. So sit back and enjoy this hour of debauchery homies and homettes.


Two episodes into this and I like to think the second one came out better than the first. I know damn well this third one was better than the first two, and the fourth one was the best because of something that will become apparent as soon as you start listening to the fourth episode. We started this one off with a bang, a literal bang if you consider some chick ripping a fart into a camera that sounds like chewbacca’s mating call a bang. Which if you don’t, then you probably aren’t a fan of the type of stuff that we do here, so fuck you. Anyways, here’s our third episode, enjoy fuckers.

Hope you enjoyed that first episode, I know that the sound quality wasn’t ideal, but like I said that was our first time doing anything like that, and we basically were just learning as we went. Also turned out we were talking into the microphones backwards. Whoops. Anyways, here is episode numero dos, and we brought in a special guest for the first time, and coincidentally had our first two guest callers live on air who happened to be completely unplanned. Here we go.

Alright so listen up folks, I know the blog has been dead for quite some time. Some of that has been due to my lack of a serviceable laptop, some of it has to do with the fact that I was working literally all the time for a solid 6 months, but mostly its because I got lazy and drink all the time. But now that I am newly 26 years old, I am officially an adult who pays for his own life insurance (which sucks) and have very recently decided maybe its time to get some shit in my life in some kind of order. One of my first grown up, big boy, adult decisions was to finally start pursuing a dream of mine that I’ve had for quite some time, and that is to be a TV/radio personality. But, since its 2016 and the radio is basically as dead as this blog is, and I have red hair and that creeps people out so TV is out of the window, that left me with one option. Podcasts. I never really got into Podcasts until Serial first came out last year, and then I discovered all the Barstool Podcasts, and anyone who knows me knows that I am a big Stoolie, so naturally I got super into those. And when I realized Podcasting was the new big thing, I started just listening to all types of different shit studying up on what works and what doesn’t. Initially, I wanted to start one with my wonderful co-owner of this once flourishing website, the asshole himself, Mr. Sniper, but seeing as he lives in Portland now, and I am in Austin, that makes it a little tougher than if we were in the same city. Long story short, that Podcast is in the works and we have done a couple dry run throughs and its going to be fucking gold once I get all the equipment set up in my apartment so the sound quality doesn’t sound like shit. However, flashback about a month and a half ago, I told a goofball of a character I work with about my Podcasting aspirations, and he immediately hopped on board and said he wanted to start one with me. A few days later, he bought a mic on his own and showed up at my apartment and basically said look were doing this whether you’re ready or you aren’t. And with that, “Einstein’s Kryptonite” was born. Basically its me, my roommate/co-worker/friend, Computer Guy, and the host who is also a co-worker/friend but not a roommate, Kowboy. This is the first episode that we recorded, and as of today we have 4 total with the 5th one being mastered as we speak. So I’m going to throw these up on this blog since we already have an established and remarkably loyal fan base considering how inconsistent me and the asshole have been over the last 5 years or however fucking long ago we started this. So shout out to you guys, every time I hop on here just to look at stats for poo-poo’s and ha-ha’s, I am shocked we still get as many daily views as we do. So thanks to y’all, you are very appreciated, and I hope you like this new direction I’ve taken in life since I am a grownup and all now. So give us a listen, tell your friends about us, tell your family about us, tell your pets about us, tell your enemies about us, tell Jesus about us when you pray at night if that’s the kind of thing you’re into. We release one episode a week, usually somewhere around an hour or so, which is perfect for a lot of people’s commute to and from work, and it makes for great distraction while you’re in the office and want to talk yourself off the ledge, just make sure you put headphones in or else your co-workers will think you are as fucked as we are and you might have to answer to HR or maybe even get fired. Consider yourself forewarned. And be on the lookout for “Exceptionally Mediocre”, which will soon be out there on the internets and you guys can get back to enjoying the banter between me and Mr. Sniper. But in the mean time, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, “Einsteins Kryptonite: Episode Uno”



So, it’s finally here. After an absolutely banana sandwich of an NCAA Tourney that included perhaps the greatest upset in tournament history w/Michigan State falling in the opening round to 15th seeded Middle Tennesee led by the starting shooting guard on the First Team All-Name Team Giddy Potts.

We saw a team in Syracuse who was basically poopy pants all season and finished TENTH in the ACC get the luck of the draw and not only sneak into the field but, didn’t play a seed lower than 7 until the Elite Eight. That being said, they beat who was in front of them and if they can play like they did in that ridiculous comeback against UVA then perhaps they can give UNC a run for their dicks.

As a former Saint Joseph’s basketball player, my hatred for Villanova is pretty strong. However, I do like Jay Wright and I think this team is (clearly) much different than those higher seeded teams we’ve seen get bounced early in the past. The Wildcats have a matchup with the best player in the country, Buddy Hield, and Oklahoma in what should be a fantastic game. Hield is straight up unguardable as we’ve seen him go for 30+ in his last two games. It’ll be interesting to see what Nova can throw at him to try and contain him a bit but, one might suggest focusing in on Cousins and Woodard and kind of letting Buddy get his. We shall see. Nova is led by 11th year senior Ryan Arcgiahgandoanano who is still putting up good numbers despite being 41 years old.

Pick- Buddy Hield’s dick is too big: Oklahoma by 6

In the other matchup we have a North Carolina team that is playing the best basketball in the country at, obviously, the right time to be doing so. 14 time pre-season ACC player of the year Marcus Paige has finally come out from under his rock and is playing like we’ve all been waiting for him to play for the last 9 years he’s been at UNC.

Analysis: Syracuse sucks. UNC is really good.

Pick: UNC by 12


So, things could currently be going better for our boy Kyrie Irving. The ruthlessness of Twitter knows no bounds, especially when it comes to celebrity gossip. Apparently, Kyrie has been dating some R&B singer Kehlani for awhile now. Back on Valentine’s Day she posted this on Instagram:

The picture on the left was posted on Valentine’s Day expressing her love for Kyrie. Fast forward to today and this dude PARTYNEXTDOOR who is one of Drake’s OvO boys posted the other picture of her in bed with him. Savage move by that guy. There’s just no coming back from a guy named PARTYNEXTDOOR putting his penis in your girlfriend. As someone who tends to speak only in capital letters, I can confirm that this dude is most likely awesome at sex. Research proves that. Thoughts and prayers for Kyrie.