Archive for the ‘NHL’ Category

Traditionally, it isn’t the smartest idea in the world of hockey to try to beat 4 different players at the same time by yourself. Not the smartest idea in the world unless your name is Bobby Ryan that is. Christ almighty. And to make it even better he scored on arguably the best goalie on the planet. Unreal.


Well, well, well. Rangers won in 6. Kings won in 7. Who would have thought? Oh that’s right. Me. Literally the exact thing I said would happen. Shocker. Anyways, on to this fantastic Stanley Cup match up we have on our hands. We have the two best goalies in the league going toe to toe in this one, which isn’t that much of a surprise seeing as goaltending wins playoff games. That’s a little thing we like to call “gravity”. So lets take a deeper look at the two goalies. The Rangers stud between the pipes, Lundqvist, is 12-7 in these playoffs, allowing just over two goals a game, and saving about 93% of the shots that he faces. Quick, on the other hand, is 12-9 in these playoffs, allows 2.8 goals a game, and is only stopping 90% of the shots that come his way. It is also worth noting that each of them have a shutout a piece. So, if we’re going on goalies alone, one would think that the Rangers would come out of this match up victorious. Only thing is, despite how HUGE a goalie can be in the playoffs, you still need to score goals. And the Rangers have scored 54 goals in 19 games, aka 2.8 a game. The Kings 73 goals in 21 games, aka 3.5 a game. They have 5 guys with 15 or more points in the playoffs, including 2 with 20 or more. The Rangers top point scorer has 13. The Kings have two lines that have been absolutely dominant in the playoffs. And because of that, I’m going to go ahead and say the Kings are going to take this series. I usually don’t pick against the better goalie, but since the Kings have an absolute stud between the pipes themselves, and clearly have the better offensive team, I’m saying Kings in 6.


We’ll see ya, be good.


Ehhh didn’t do so well with the NHL compared to the NBA, but it still wasn’t too far off. And like I said I didn’t watch as much hockey as I usually do this year. Bruins fucked me when they decided to just not score goals in the last two games of the series, close out games for them, I might add. Thanks a lot dicks. Kings took an extra game, the Blackhawks somehow managed to lose two games to the fucking Wild, which I’m still trying to figure out, but still took the series. And the Rangers did end up coming out on top, because, like I said, Lundqvist took over and that is a series changer. Penguins had every opportunity to close out that series but they’re basically a bunch of pussies, so they didn’t. Anyways, onto the Conference finals.

Rangers vs. Canadiens

What an offensive outburst from the Rangers on Saturday. 7 fucking goals? I was working during the game and I felt like every time I looked up from whatever I was doing, the Rangers were scoring another goal. It was insane. The only thing I worry about for the Rangers moving forward is if they just used up all their goals for the next few games. But I mean, if Lundqvist keeps paying the way he has been as of late, the Rangers will be just fine. And truthfully I feel like he will. Fucking hate both of these teams so I really don’t give two shits about who wins. I wish they could both lose. Canadiens have the speed, Rangers have the goaltending. Goaltending wins playoff hockey games, so I’m going to go with that. Rangers in 6.


Blackhawks vs. Kings

This series is actually pretty similar to the Canadiens/Rangers one, except its with teams that I actually like. Kings have the goaltending with Quick, who is a stud and has always played like one in the playoffs. Blackhawks are the fastest team in hockey, and they have some serious playmakers and scorers. Honestly I hope that its either Hawks vs. Canadiens in the Stanley Cup or Kings vs. Rangers, cuz then we would see speed vs. speed and goaltending vs. goaltending. So since I went with the Rangers in the first matchup, I’m going to go with the Kings in this one, even though they lost game 1 and even though I think the Blackhawks are the better team. Kings just always have a knack for turning it on when it matters most. Kings in 7.


See y’all when Lord Stanley shows face.

Alright so since I gave y’all my basketball predictions, figured I’d mix in a little NHL for all the white dudes out there, and the couple black guys who watch hockey. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t follow the NHL as much as I usually do during the regular season. But I grew up playing and loving hockey. I know the sport. And I watched the first round pretty closely, close enough to make some educated guesses on who’s going to make it through to the next round.

Ducks vs. Kings

The Kings never cease to amaze me. Obviously the Sharks fucking blow in the postseason, but still, coming back from 3-0 is no easy task. And if there’s one thing that is an absolute game changer in playoff hockey, its how hot your goaltender is. And the Kings have a hell of a dick swinger in between the pipes with Quick. And he seems to be having GREAT dick days game after game after game. The Ducks won’t be an easy task, but as long as Quick keeps it up, they should be able to make it through. Kings in 6.

Wild vs. Blackhawks

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet. The Wild suck. I don’t know how they even made it this far. And the Blackhawks are really good. Like really really good. And usually really good teams beat teams that suck. Advantage Chicago. Bring out the brooms. Blackhawks in 4.

Canadiens vs. Bruins

The fucking B’s took out my Red Wings last round. Wasn’t too pleased with that, but it would have been nothing short of a miracle has we come out of that considering how beat up we were. Even though this series is knotted up 1-1 right now, the Bruins dominated the shit out of that first game and honestly could have scored like 8 goals if puck luck was on their side. This is going to be a scrappy series the rest of the way, because these two teams truly hate each other, but the Canadiens are outclassed. Only thing they have on their side is their speed. They’ll more than likely win one at home, I’ll give them that, but there’s no way they take the series. Bruins in 6.

Rangers vs. Penguins

And finally we find ourselves with this bullshit series. Two things. 1, I fucking hate the Rangers. 2, I fucking hate the Penguins. Don’t really know what else to say about this series. I guess I hate the Penguins a little bit less than the Rangers, so I’m gonna go with them, even though they fucked up home ice in game 1 of the series. They’ll win it back when they go to New York. Lundqvist is the only person that could have something to say about the Penguins winning, because if he brings his A game then he is arguably the best in the league. But the Penguins just have more scorers and more play makers. Too much Crosby. Too much Malkin. Too much Penguins. Cue the fucking Bud Ice commercial. Penguins in 7.


Pshhhh. This kid is the man. I remember back when I was just a little guy I could do the same thing for all my favorite teams. I was such a little sports nerd. Knew everyone’s stats, jersey numbers, etc. I can already tell this kid is well on his way to stardom. And he won a $100 gift card for doing this? Do you know how much fucking money $100 is to a 5 year old? About $3.4 million. Give or take.

After Jarome Iginla facialed the Bruins and the Brenden Morrow went to the Penguins too, the Bruins weren’t left with many options. But they made the best of a bad situation and added a certified veteran to their roster. The Bruins traded for Jagr today, and now they have a Top 10 player, in my humble opinion, in their locker room. People forget about how good Jagr is. For those of you with said cloudy memories, here.


Granted he’s 41, but you can’t argue stats. And this guy has them. 679 goals, good enough for 10th all time, 1000 assists, 12th all time, and obviously 1,679 points, which puts him at 8th all time. And if the stats aren’t enough for you, how about that lettuce? Unreal flow. This guy doesn’t care who he plays for, wherever he goes he does the same thing. He gets it done. At 41, obviously Bruins fans would have liked to see them land the younger Iginla, but they should also be walking away from the trade deadline with a smile on their faces with Jagr on their squad. Guy is a professional in every sense of the word.

People always talk about Yanks/Sox, Duke/UNC, Lakers/Celtics, etc. when talking about the best rivalries in sports. But honestly nothing compared to the Red Wings/Avalanche rivalry back in the 90’s and early 2000s. That was a real rivalry. Two of the best teams in hockey who not only hated each other, but beat the shit out of each other. Literally every single game was a blood bath. Hockey’s different than most sports because you’re allowed to just drop gloves and beat the living shit out of another player if you feel like it. No suspensions or fines, just a measly 5 minutes penalty. No biggie. And one of the more memorable games they played feature one of the better brawls in my lifetime.

How about when Patrick Roy is coming in to deck Darren McCarty and Brendan Shanahan comes out of nowhere and just superman’s into Roy. That is grade A entertainment people. Anyone who’s anyone knows that goalie fights are hands down the best thing that can ever happen in any sport. What a show. What a sport. What a country.