Alright so since I gave y’all my basketball predictions, figured I’d mix in a little NHL for all the white dudes out there, and the couple black guys who watch hockey. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t follow the NHL as much as I usually do during the regular season. But I grew up playing and loving hockey. I know the sport. And I watched the first round pretty closely, close enough to make some educated guesses on who’s going to make it through to the next round.
Ducks vs. Kings
The Kings never cease to amaze me. Obviously the Sharks fucking blow in the postseason, but still, coming back from 3-0 is no easy task. And if there’s one thing that is an absolute game changer in playoff hockey, its how hot your goaltender is. And the Kings have a hell of a dick swinger in between the pipes with Quick. And he seems to be having GREAT dick days game after game after game. The Ducks won’t be an easy task, but as long as Quick keeps it up, they should be able to make it through. Kings in 6.
Wild vs. Blackhawks
I’m going to keep this one short and sweet. The Wild suck. I don’t know how they even made it this far. And the Blackhawks are really good. Like really really good. And usually really good teams beat teams that suck. Advantage Chicago. Bring out the brooms. Blackhawks in 4.
Canadiens vs. Bruins
The fucking B’s took out my Red Wings last round. Wasn’t too pleased with that, but it would have been nothing short of a miracle has we come out of that considering how beat up we were. Even though this series is knotted up 1-1 right now, the Bruins dominated the shit out of that first game and honestly could have scored like 8 goals if puck luck was on their side. This is going to be a scrappy series the rest of the way, because these two teams truly hate each other, but the Canadiens are outclassed. Only thing they have on their side is their speed. They’ll more than likely win one at home, I’ll give them that, but there’s no way they take the series. Bruins in 6.
Rangers vs. Penguins
And finally we find ourselves with this bullshit series. Two things. 1, I fucking hate the Rangers. 2, I fucking hate the Penguins. Don’t really know what else to say about this series. I guess I hate the Penguins a little bit less than the Rangers, so I’m gonna go with them, even though they fucked up home ice in game 1 of the series. They’ll win it back when they go to New York. Lundqvist is the only person that could have something to say about the Penguins winning, because if he brings his A game then he is arguably the best in the league. But the Penguins just have more scorers and more play makers. Too much Crosby. Too much Malkin. Too much Penguins. Cue the fucking Bud Ice commercial. Penguins in 7.