Posts Tagged ‘barstool’

Alright so listen up folks, I know the blog has been dead for quite some time. Some of that has been due to my lack of a serviceable laptop, some of it has to do with the fact that I was working literally all the time for a solid 6 months, but mostly its because I got lazy and drink all the time. But now that I am newly 26 years old, I am officially an adult who pays for his own life insurance (which sucks) and have very recently decided maybe its time to get some shit in my life in some kind of order. One of my first grown up, big boy, adult decisions was to finally start pursuing a dream of mine that I’ve had for quite some time, and that is to be a TV/radio personality. But, since its 2016 and the radio is basically as dead as this blog is, and I have red hair and that creeps people out so TV is out of the window, that left me with one option. Podcasts. I never really got into Podcasts until Serial first came out last year, and then I discovered all the Barstool Podcasts, and anyone who knows me knows that I am a big Stoolie, so naturally I got super into those. And when I realized Podcasting was the new big thing, I started just listening to all types of different shit studying up on what works and what doesn’t. Initially, I wanted to start one with my wonderful co-owner of this once flourishing website, the asshole himself, Mr. Sniper, but seeing as he lives in Portland now, and I am in Austin, that makes it a little tougher than if we were in the same city. Long story short, that Podcast is in the works and we have done a couple dry run throughs and its going to be fucking gold once I get all the equipment set up in my apartment so the sound quality doesn’t sound like shit. However, flashback about a month and a half ago, I told a goofball of a character I work with about my Podcasting aspirations, and he immediately hopped on board and said he wanted to start one with me. A few days later, he bought a mic on his own and showed up at my apartment and basically said look were doing this whether you’re ready or you aren’t. And with that, “Einstein’s Kryptonite” was born. Basically its me, my roommate/co-worker/friend, Computer Guy, and the host who is also a co-worker/friend but not a roommate, Kowboy. This is the first episode that we recorded, and as of today we have 4 total with the 5th one being mastered as we speak. So I’m going to throw these up on this blog since we already have an established and remarkably loyal fan base considering how inconsistent me and the asshole have been over the last 5 years or however fucking long ago we started this. So shout out to you guys, every time I hop on here just to look at stats for poo-poo’s and ha-ha’s, I am shocked we still get as many daily views as we do. So thanks to y’all, you are very appreciated, and I hope you like this new direction I’ve taken in life since I am a grownup and all now. So give us a listen, tell your friends about us, tell your family about us, tell your pets about us, tell your enemies about us, tell Jesus about us when you pray at night if that’s the kind of thing you’re into. We release one episode a week, usually somewhere around an hour or so, which is perfect for a lot of people’s commute to and from work, and it makes for great distraction while you’re in the office and want to talk yourself off the ledge, just make sure you put headphones in or else your co-workers will think you are as fucked as we are and you might have to answer to HR or maybe even get fired. Consider yourself forewarned. And be on the lookout for “Exceptionally Mediocre”, which will soon be out there on the internets and you guys can get back to enjoying the banter between me and Mr. Sniper. But in the mean time, ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, “Einsteins Kryptonite: Episode Uno”

 

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Apologies for the edited version of this song, but I just find the video pretty funny so I said fuck it. Absolutely love this song, always have. This was one of my favorite songs off of The Beautiful Struggle which came out back in 2004. Talib has always been one of those dudes who flies under the radar but absolutely kills it every time he pics up a mic. That’s all I got for y’all today, got a late start and have to go into work early to deal with some bullshit, which sucks because today was a great internet day. So I guess I’ll just get to those stories tomorrow. God I wish I got paid for this so I could just sit around blogging all day. Yo Barstool, holla at a playa when you see him in the streets. I’m ready to start Barstool East Bumblefuck Connecticut (technically I live in Western, CT, but who’s counting) anytime you guys want.

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Ok, so normally I try to avoid writing about shit that Barstool writes about, but I saw this earlier and I actually agreed with everything that was said, so I felt that I had to speak on it. First, who in the hell did they poll in this survey? 10-year-olds? There is absolutely zero chance that the majority of men think full pjs are the sexiest thing a woman can wear to bed. I’m pretty sure if you Google image search “sexy girls”, there’s not going to be a bunch of pictures of women wearing full pjs. And by pretty sure, I mean that I just did that and there’s not a full pj set in sight. What you do see, however, is a bunch of women in lingerie, the answer that everyone would think men would say. Now, I’m no scientist, but there’s about four things I know in life 1) booty shorts and a wife beater are by far the sexiest thing a woman can wear to bed 2) there’s no way that “nothing” should be last on this list 3) any grown man who actually wears a onesie to bed is a fucking dweeb. There’s no way women actually answered that 4) sleeping butt ass naked is the most liberating thing you can do, that’s why winners do it. Moral of the story is that this poll has to be made up, because none of the answers make any sense whatsoever.

 

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Booty shorts for the undeniable win

Well. Called that. Kate Upton confirmed over twitter that she “couldn’t turn down that video” and she’ll “check her schedule”. She also said that he could call her Katie. Like I said as much as I want to hate this kid because there’s no way he should be pulling chicks on Kate Upton status, I just can’t. Fucking full-proof move. Even if she ends up having a conflicting event, which I doubt she will because then the press will rip her for being “mean” (god forbid), the fact that she took notice to his video and responded to it publicly is a win in most people’s book. Was just reading on barstool how KFC was ripping on this kid, but I just can’t. Not his fault he’s fucking smart enough to just make some video and have it go viral because of the way the world is nowadays. It’s called survival of the fittest man. Adaptation. Charles Darwin. Galapagos Islands. Part of life, you’re just mad that someone else did it first. Jake Davidson – 1 Everyone Else – 0