Archive for the ‘Deep Think’ Category

pupcup

First of all, sorry for the layoff the last few days. Work has been crazy and I haven’t sat at my computer basically at all. Also, I bought a puppy so technically I have a newborn baby.

Regardless, Woody and I were discussing some of the retarded shit we used to do in college and he asked me to compile a “Top 5 Woody Moments from College” blog. I figured it would better/not 10,000 words in one blog to make a mini series. So, without further ado, chapter one of Woody Tales: The Time Woody Had To Do Everything I Told Him To:

For anyone who is unaware, Woody and I met at Assumption College when I transferred there after my sophomore year at Saint Joseph’s in Philadelphia. Woody lived with my best friend from high school, TJ, so we met like the second day I was there. We immediately bonded due to our common interests of hip-hop, SPORTS, marijuana, and ice cold beers. We developed one of those friendships that quickly turns into two guys busting each other’s balls and being completely comfortable around each other. We’re both the type of dudes that don’t take life too seriously (or seriously at all) so everyday was a different adventure with us.

We drank a lot of beers. That shouldn’t really surprise anyone. When we drank those beers, we would come up with some “interesting” ideas to say the least. So one day, not too long into our junior years, we were having a typical Saturgay rinsefest. Saturgay consisted of waking up and drinking strictly Mike’s Hards or Twisted Teas from Noon to sundown.

On this particular Saturgay, at a time I can’t exactly remember due to the copious amount of alcohol consumed, I told Woody he had to LITERALLY do anything and everything I told him to do. No matter what I said, Woody had to do it.

It started with a bunch of us standing outside of 4men, an apartment complex across from our football field. I told Woody to go walk in front of the old couple that was walking by, get on one knee, and chug his beer in their face. He promptly did exactly that.

As the day progressed, I told Woody to kiss roughly 40 chicks and easily 25 dudes. Every person I pointed to got an aggressive kiss on the lips.

As funny as everything was throughout the day, it wasn’t until about 3:00AM that the funniest shit of it all happened. Some random bitch was visiting me from back home to get a portion of that Snipe dick (nbd). Somehow, me her and Woody ended up being locked out of the room and sitting on the floor in the hallway just bullshitting. While we sat there, I told Woody to stop texting his chick and throw his phone against the wall as hard as he possibly could. Well I’ll be damned. Woody stood up, crow hopped, and threw an absolute missile at the wall. Shattered his phone into about 1 trillion pieces and proceeded to just die laughing with me. Classic Woody.

A man of his word. Not much else can describe this opening chapter of Woody Tales. How many people you know would literally do anything you told them to for an entire day?

Stay tuned for Chapter Two: Woody’s 21st birthday. You won’t want to miss that one.

Love, Snipe

 

So this was filmed over a seven day period from the top of El Tiede, Spain’s highest mountain. I guess El Tiede is world renowned for being one of the best places on the planet to photograph stars. After watching this video, I’d have to agree with that. Just an absolutely incredible collection of footage. I never really realized how much I took the starry nights for granted until I went to college in Worcester, MA, where the light pollution basically leaves you without any stars in the sky. Since Kent, CT is in the middle of absolute fucking nowhere, we get some pretty spectacular skies on some nights, but not even those come close to comparing with the shit on this video. I could legit get lost in stars for hours, they just have a way of making you realize how insignificant all your “problems” in life are, and how insignificant your actual life is. We don’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. The universe is such big fucking place. That’s why I just enjoy my time while I’m here. Cause other than that, nothing really matters.

Don’t be an idiot

Posted: November 28, 2013 by snipe in Deep Think

No one likes an idiot. If you didn’t start pummeling beers as the clock struck noon on this holiest of drinking holidays then you, sir, are an idiot. And being idiot is by far the worst.

Sidenote: don’t eat cranberry sauce. That would make you a communist. And NO ONE likes a communist. Pretty sure even communists don’t like communists.

Beer.

Posted: November 26, 2013 by snipe in Deep Think
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Ever heard of it? It’s sick. It’s that thing you put to your lips and immediately become way better than you prior were.

Call me crazy but you’re crazy if you don’t drink beer. Like I like legit do not trust you.

Okay, goodnight.

Okay, so somehow I came across this interview of some supposed “man expert” who had a list of 5 movies its acceptable to cry during and not be judged if you’re a dude. And I gotta say I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about because the 5 movies that first came to mind for me didn’t even end up anywhere on his list. He was throwing out movies like “Old Yeller”, which I saw once when I was super young, like probably 5, and I guess that’s acceptable to be on the list because anytime you have to put down a dog that’s a pretty emotional thing. Only way you don’t cry during that film is if you absolutely hate dogs, and if that’s the case then you are probably some kind of serial killer, so fuck you anyways. But other than that, his list was bogus. Here’s the list in it’s entirety.

5. Old Yeller

4. Rudy

3. Deliverance

2. The Crying Game

1. Beaches

 

First of all, I can honestly say that the only other movie I’ve even heard about on that list other than “Old Yeller” was “Rudy”, and I didn’t cry when I saw that. The other three I have no fucking clue about. I guess “Deliverance” is about some dudes making a canoe trip or some shit, “The Crying Game” is about some dude who falls in love with some chick and bangs her but then finds out she’s really a dude, and he didn’t explain what “Beaches” was about but said that he cried out of boredom. Who the fuck cries from boredom. I guess banging a chick then finding out she’s a dude is upsetting, but I’d probably puke before I cried. A bunch of dudes on a canoe trip doesn’t seem to moving either. I don’t care how array it goes along the way. So fuck this “man expert” and fuck his stupid list. Here are my top 5 movies that it’s okay to cry at if you are a dude, which I’m pretty certain happen to be the only five movies I have actually cried during.

 

5. Hardball – I don’t care how bad Keanu Reeves’ acting is, if you didn’t cry when G-Baby died then you have no soul.

4. Remember the Titans – Just an emotional movie in general. I tear up a few times throughout it.

3. Up – I didn’t see this movie until I was a junior in college, and it was watched in complete darkness at about 3:00 in the morning with a few of my so called friends. I don’t know what it was about it, or how I got so emotional about a bunch of cartoons, but this movie just hits home. Changed my life forever.

2. Pay It Forward – Again, and sorry if you haven’t seen this movie yet and I’m spoiling the end for you, but when Trevor McKinney (Haley Joel Osment) is stabbed and dies at the end of the movie, I can’t help but cry. Just a kid out to change the world for the better with the simple concept of “paying it forward” in which someone does a good deed for someone else, and that person does a good deed for another person, and so on and so forth, only to be killed for trying to brake up a pointless fight. Since the day that I saw this movie when I was about 12 I have lived my life by paying it forward, and the world would be a much MUCH better place if people followed suit.

1. John Q – If you haven’t seen this movie before, go watch it. Some of Denzel’s finest acting, and that’s saying a lot coming from me because Denzel is my favorite actor of all time. His movies are simply the best. Anyways, once you watch this movie, you will cry. I don’t care how macho you think you are, you will cry during this movie. If you don’t, I will come and find you and I will hurt you. Maybe even kill you. Or honestly, you can just go kill yourself because not crying during this movie means you don’t give two shits about anyone in this world but yourself, so you’re a parasite to this planet.

 

So there you have it guys. Ever need to get a good cry sesh in but are afraid you’re going to be judged by other dudes, just throw in one of these flicks and let the emotions flow. Or you can just get drunk and listen continuously to a bunch of Jay Electronica, most notably “Fat Belly Bella”. That always works for me. I ain’t ashamed to admit it. You’re welcome.

lemme just, yeahhhh.

Posted: June 5, 2013 by snipe in Deep Think
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So I’m somewhat bored and have a few minutes free at work so I decided to tell all of you to fuck off. I keep telling that scumbag that I’ll do my best to try and jot some shit down but I’m too busy doing very little else in my life.

Anyways. Hey, what’s up guys? 

A lot has happened in the last few weeks or months. And, with no specific topic to blog about other than pure boredom and borderline hatred for woody, I figured I would just ramble on and on about basically nothing. 

So, the Red Sox are in first place in the AL East. That’s cool. Love this group of guys. A real “Sox” group. Just a bunch of bearded animals that wanna slap it around and then rinse beers together and chase puss. Lovable group really.

LeBron’s good at basketball. We can all agree on that.

Hey, Jamarcus Russel. Shut the fuck up.

Ryan Braun. You’re guilty bro. You’re also Jewish.

braun

 

 

Maybe I’ll say something again soon. I don’t know. I don’t know if we’ll have enough time!

 

 

 

Woody is such a liar it boggles my mind

Posted: February 26, 2013 by snipe in Deep Think

Shaq

 

 

So, I just read that rivalry blog and I’m blown away by how patently untrue and made up the things Woody says are. Dude you were SEVEN years old when that fight took place. 7. You drink 45 beers a day and smoke an ounce of weed. The chances that you actually remember that fight are about as likely as me spontaneously transforming into a Komodo Dragon and becoming the #1 bingo player at the retirement home in the Galapagos Islands.

Fuck off loser.