Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category–becomes-oldest-with-hole-in-one-012551146-golf.html

They say golf is a game you can play for a lifetime. So long as you’re upright and swinging, that means you have a chance to make an ace, just like 103-year-old Gus Andreone did in Florida on Wednesday.

Andreone, the oldest member of the PGA of America, made the hole-in-one at Palm Aire Country Club in Sarasota, Fla. He used a driver from the green tees on the 113-yard 14th hole at the Lakes Course. 

“I hit it solid and the ball then hit the ground about 30 yards from the green and kept rolling, rolling and rolling,” Andreone said, according to “It fell into the hole, which was cut on the right middle part of the green. Miracles do happen once in a while.” 

Anderone, who now has eight lifetime aces, may well be the oldest man to have ever recorded a hole-in-one. The apparent prior record holder was Elsie McLean, who made a hole-in-one at 102 years old in 2007.  Anderone’s first ace came 75 years ago in 1939. His last one before Wednesday was sometime in the 1990s, on the same course’s 17th hole.

Fucking golf man. Such a crazy sport. Imagine being 103 and doing anything besides pooping your pants and drooling? I can’t. That is the only thing life entails in my mind after you hit the old century mark. Yet here we have Gus Andreone, just doing the damn thing and hitting aces on a golf course. Something a lot of golfers go a lifetime without ever achieving, and this guy is just swinging his wrinkly dick around the golf course driving a 113 yard hole-in-one like it ain’t no thang. And it was the 8th of his life, the first of which came back in 1939. Just think about that for a second. He literally had his first hole-in-one during the Great Depression. Who in the fuck played golf during the Great Depression anyways? This guy has immediately shot up my list of most interesting people on the planet. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he can even swing a golf club without dislocating both shoulders and having his backbone just disintegrate into dust, let alone get a fucking hole-in-one. I think it’s time to start drinking because that’s the only way this story will ever make sense to me. On that note, I’m outta here. Love y’all.


BALTIMORE (AP) — Olympic gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps avoided jail time on Friday when a judge placed him on probation for pleading guilty to a drunken driving charge for the second time in 10 years. The punishment came with a warning.

“You don’t need a lecture from the court,” Baltimore District Judge Nathan Braverman told Phelps. “If you haven’t gotten the message by now, or forget the message, the only option is jail.”

Probation allows the most decorated Olympian ever to focus on training for the 2016 Games in Rio De Janeiro, which would be his fifth. The 29-year-old came out of a year’s retirement with his sights set on Rio, and the plea is not expected to have any ill effect on those plans.

The swimmer was contrite in court, with his attorney detailing his pursuit of sobriety since his arrest, including 45 days of inpatient treatment in Arizona. A letter from his doctor there was glowing, saying he was forthright and cooperative.

I know this story came out back in September, but again, I wasn’t writing during that time, so here we are. And he just pled guilty to this today in order to avoid jail time, so its a relevant story again. And now this is something that I find myself wondering. And when I say I find myself wondering, I mean the media is definitely going to try to make me wonder. Is Michael Phelps a bad boy? 2 DUI’s under his belt. Smokes weed on the reg. Just doesn’t seem to give a fuck about anything except having a good time. Well let me answer that question for you. No, no he is not a bad boy. Look at his face. He’s got that Andrew Luck kind of face that you look at and just think to yourself “what a dork”, despite what tremendous athletes the both of them are. Guys that are dorks can not be bad boys. That’s like the fourth commandment. The media will for sure try to make it seem like he is though, because we live in absolute pussy land country now. He got his first DUI when he was 19. That basically doesn’t even count. Everyone drives drunk when they’re a teenager. Its kind of like a right of passage. If you didn’t ever do that then you are probably a loser. Smoking weed? Please. That’s already legal in multiple states and give it a few years and it will be legal everywhere. Smoke crack or meth or something if you’re trying to impress me. Now as far as the second DUI goes, probably not the best look. You’re 29 Michael. Clean it up guy. But does that make him a badass? Not by any stretch of the imagination. That makes him a dumbass. Like hey bro, didn’t you win like 58 Olympic Gold Medals in one day? I might have to check my math on that but I think that was it. Anyways, I’m pretty sure that makes you rich, so it’s called get a fucking driver. Shit, I’ll drive you around. Give me a solid $75,000 a year and full access to you’re pussy posse and I am good to go. Where the fuck do I sign. I’ll keep you out of this dumb controversy so you don’t have to talk to the media sounding like an absolute retard about how you look forward to a brighter future. All these rich athletes who get in trouble for DUI’s and this and that will forever remain a mystery to me. YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING RICH. You blow the same amount of money on pointless bullshit in about a week that it would take to just hire a driver for a year. Then you literally can go out and drink as much as you want, blow coke off of strippers titties, sip some sizzurp with Lil Weezy, do whatever the fuck you want, and not worry about getting behind a wheel and either getting pulled over or killing someone, or yourself, in the process. It’s the definition of a no brainer. End of rant.

Here’s the thing. I, for one, have never been a big fan of Rondo. I respect the shit out of his ability to distribute the ball, play defense, and rebound from the guard position, something that I have always been a big fan of because that’s how I played ball and rebounding is literally the easiest thing to do in basketball but for whatever reason no one decides to do it. It’s literally just watching the ball, positioning yourself based on where the ball is hitting the rim, then trying. That’s it. Sometimes it takes a weird bounce, but 7 times out of 10 you can tell where a ball is going once it leaves the shooters hand. Anyways, back to Rondo. Here’s my thing with him. He’s a dick head, which makes him a bad teammate. And he can’t do the second easiest thing in basketball. Shoot free throws. For a point guard, he is historically bad. This year he is shooting 33%. That’s one out of every three for all of you that are mathematically incompetent. That’s really bad for a big man, let a lone a point guard. In the 2010 NBA Finals, when the Lakers beat the Celtics in 7 games, he made 5 of his 19 free throws, for an even worse 26%. So for those two reasons, I will never be a fan of Rondo, despite the other parts of his game that I like. Now, that being said, this was an absolute no brainer trade for the Mavs. They made a HUGE upgrade at the point guard position. They now have arguably the best starting 5 in basketball. I would put Rondo, Ellis, Parsons, Dirk, and Chandler up against any other starting 5 in the league. The only thing is they took a pretty big hit to their bench in giving up Wright and Crowder. Wright definitely had a bigger impact than Crowder has had this year, as he has been one of the most efficient players in the league coming off the bench. Crowder is a high energy guy though that can guard multiple positions. Now the first 3 off the bench for the Mavs is Devin Harris, who is legit, then Al-Farouq Aminu and Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva is more a of a stretch 4 then a power 4, so they really don’t have a solid backup big man to come out if Chandler gets in foul trouble, or worse, injured. Greg Smith is just not going to cut it, that’s for sure. But, although the bench is vital to a team postseason success, I still love the trade for the Mavs. Rondo has 2 top 20 scorers to distribute the ball to in Dirk and Ellis, a hell of a third option in Chandler Parsons, and will be good for around 4 or 5 alley oops to Tyson Chandler in a game. I think this trade immediately puts the Mavs on the short list of title contenders. We’ll see how it plays out.

Well that was ugly. Like really ugly. Naturally I come out looking like the asshole who was calling that the Browns needed to embrace the future and start Johnny Football and when they finally listen, he goes out there and puts up some pretty atrocious numbers. 10-18 for 80 yards, no touchdowns, and 2 interceptions. That equates to a passer rating of 27.3, which is just not going to get it done against any team. He struggled with everything that people said he would struggle with. Made a couple bad decisions with the football on his two picks, could have easily been intercepted 2 more times too. Also had a tough time eluding the defense with his feet, because players are just much faster in the NFL then they are at the college level. And probably the worst part was that every single time a Bengals player had a sack, they gave Johnny the money sign that he is so well known for. Just blatantly rubbing it in his face that he isn’t cut out for the NFL. Now, all that being said, I’m not going to tuck my tail between my legs and run away from my thought that Johnny Football will be able to succeed at the professional level, and that I think he will be a good NFL quarterback. You can’t close the book on someone after one game, even if that one game was probably the worst I have ever seen a quarterback play on a team that wasn’t the Jets. I watched that entire game. The Bengals played and unbelievable defensive game. They were everywhere on the field. Also, the Browns receivers didn’t do anything to help Johnny out. They aren’t used to having a guy who can make something happen when a play breaks down, so when Manziel got outside of the pocket, his receivers didn’t know how to adjust their routes and get open. That is something that will come with time. You watch the Packers play, and when Rodgers gets forced out of the pocket, he is pointing down field directing his receivers where to go. They have perfected that. The Browns might not get to the level that the Packers do that at, but anything would be an improvement on what happened on Sunday. He’s got the Panthers next Sunday, a defense that is no where near as good as they were a year ago. I am fully confident that Johnny Boy will bounce back and have a good game. He’s a competitor. His legacy is far from over, mark my words.

Usually I don’t get to much during the weekends because I’m too busy getting absolutely fucking obliterated during the day and night and hating myself and my life in the morning. As I was sitting on the couch hating myself this particular morning, I happened to see the replay of this and I literally was speechless for about 3 minutes. When I finally blacked in, I texted the asshole see if he had seen what I saw. He had, naturally, and we were both in agreement at how egregious it really was. He literally took 6 steps. He traveled three separate times on the same travel. And it wasn’t called. Sometimes the NBA just leaves me shaking my damn head. Also, I laughed pretty damn hard.

Pretty sure you couldn’t find a better 15 second video showing exactly who these two guys are if you spend the next 500 years looking for it. Rajon Rondo is an absolute dick head. That’s well documented. Nobody really likes him, not his teammates, not his coaches, not me….hell, his mom probably doesn’t even like him. And so, unsurprisingly so, he just throws possibly the most blatant elbow in NBA history right into Lance’s face. However since Lance is known for his outrageous flopping, no foul was initially called. Then Lance get up and throws the weirdest, most subtle punch I have ever seen an NBA player throw into Rondo’s cheek. I don’t even know if it could be considered a punch, much more of a love tap if anything. But after that, both were called for technicals. Just a really strange sequence of events summing up everything you need to know about these two. Lance is just such a weird guy and Rondo is a dick head. Moral of the story here.

Traditionally, it isn’t the smartest idea in the world of hockey to try to beat 4 different players at the same time by yourself. Not the smartest idea in the world unless your name is Bobby Ryan that is. Christ almighty. And to make it even better he scored on arguably the best goalie on the planet. Unreal.