Posts Tagged ‘NBA Playoffs’

Here’s the thing. I, for one, have never been a big fan of Rondo. I respect the shit out of his ability to distribute the ball, play defense, and rebound from the guard position, something that I have always been a big fan of because that’s how I played ball and rebounding is literally the easiest thing to do in basketball but for whatever reason no one decides to do it. It’s literally just watching the ball, positioning yourself based on where the ball is hitting the rim, then trying. That’s it. Sometimes it takes a weird bounce, but 7 times out of 10 you can tell where a ball is going once it leaves the shooters hand. Anyways, back to Rondo. Here’s my thing with him. He’s a dick head, which makes him a bad teammate. And he can’t do the second easiest thing in basketball. Shoot free throws. For a point guard, he is historically bad. This year he is shooting 33%. That’s one out of every three for all of you that are mathematically incompetent. That’s really bad for a big man, let a lone a point guard. In the 2010 NBA Finals, when the Lakers beat the Celtics in 7 games, he made 5 of his 19 free throws, for an even worse 26%. So for those two reasons, I will never be a fan of Rondo, despite the other parts of his game that I like. Now, that being said, this was an absolute no brainer trade for the Mavs. They made a HUGE upgrade at the point guard position. They now have arguably the best starting 5 in basketball. I would put Rondo, Ellis, Parsons, Dirk, and Chandler up against any other starting 5 in the league. The only thing is they took a pretty big hit to their bench in giving up Wright and Crowder. Wright definitely had a bigger impact than Crowder has had this year, as he has been one of the most efficient players in the league coming off the bench. Crowder is a high energy guy though that can guard multiple positions. Now the first 3 off the bench for the Mavs is Devin Harris, who is legit, then Al-Farouq Aminu and Charlie Villanueva. Villanueva is more a of a stretch 4 then a power 4, so they really don’t have a solid backup big man to come out if Chandler gets in foul trouble, or worse, injured. Greg Smith is just not going to cut it, that’s for sure. But, although the bench is vital to a team postseason success, I still love the trade for the Mavs. Rondo has 2 top 20 scorers to distribute the ball to in Dirk and Ellis, a hell of a third option in Chandler Parsons, and will be good for around 4 or 5 alley oops to Tyson Chandler in a game. I think this trade immediately puts the Mavs on the short list of title contenders. We’ll see how it plays out.


Totally forgot to throw this up yesterday before the Finals started. Absolutely butchered last round. Looked like a total idiot. In basketball I always tend to follow my heart instead of my head, but whatever. The Pacers should have been able to close out game 2 at home, when they didn’t they lost that series. And Kevin Durant had an unfathomable turnover in game 6 that led to the Thunder losing in overtime. If he did what he usually does and scored on that possession, who knows what happens in game 7. Spurs were definitely the better team though, like I said when I did the preview, I don’t know why I would ever bet against Pop and company. Anyways, time to redeem myself in the Finals. For the record, I was going to say Spurs in 6 from the get go, before the Spurs pulled away late last night and took game 1, which is funny because I think it’s the first time I’ve ever agreed with anything that has come out of Skip Bayless’ mouth, but I give him props for predicting Spurs in 6 for months now. After last night’s game I feel very comfortable with saying Spurs in 6. They are legit like 12 people deep, 9 or 10 of which could legitimately lead the spurs in scoring on any given night. I don’t think people are really appreciating what they are seeing when they watch this team play. I think it is legit one of the best all-around teams I have ever seen play in my lifetime. Every time I see them play I wonder why I would have ever doubted them last series vs. the Thunder. They are a MUCH better team then they were last year, and last year they were one rebound away from taking the series in 6. That has stuck with each and every one of the players on the Spurs throughout the year, most noticeably Tim Duncan, who was on the bench when Bosh got that offensive rebound that led to Ray Allen’s corner three. So when you couple that chip on the shoulder that everyone on the Spurs is playing with their ability to execute Popovich’s gameplans and how well they’e been shooting the 3 throughout the playoffs, I just don’t see them losing this series. Spurs in 6.


PS – How about fucking Bron Bron last night. Leg cramps dude? Seriously? That time of the month for you? It’s the fucking finals. Michael Jordan played with a 105 degree fever in the 1997 Finals, which is like half of a degree away from your brain literally frying, and dropped like 38, including 15 in the fourth quarter, as well as stuffing the rest of the stat sheet. That is why Lebron will never be Michael. He might be more physically and athletically impressive than Michael was, that’s not really even a debate actually because he definitely is, but he lacks the killer instinct that Jordan had coursing through his veins. MJ had the heart of a champion beating every second he was on the court. And I don’t want to hear anything about the AC failing and it was hot. Big fucking deal, not like Bron Bron was the only one playing the heat. Everyone had to deal with it. Maybe if you weren’t sponsored by fucking Powerade he would have been drinking Gatorade and would have been hydrated properly and would have avoided your vaginal cramps. Seriously not a good look at all for Powerade. And apparently Gatorade was facialing Powerade via Twitter last night and it was hilarious.


So this happened like a week and a half ago and somehow I missed it. Must have been at the bar where I can’t hear these four incredible human beings talk about basketball, which sucks because I almost enjoy it more than watching the games. But anyways, this is just another example of why this is the best group of analysts the world has to offer. Every minute is fucking hysterical. Like hey Shaq, I get you don’t watch baseball or whatever, but Mariano Rivera is literally the best closer of all time. One of the all time greats, who is more well respected than probably any other athlete out there. You have no excuse for not knowing who he is, I don’t care if you have never watched a single baseball game in your life. Incredible. Also, Ernie’s impersonation of Shaq was pretty spot on. Well played Ernie.


PS – I have an honest question for all my welovefuners out there. Is Ernie Johnson part black? I had this discussion at the bar with one of my best friends the other night. He was saying he is 100% whiteboy. I argued that he has to be at least a little black to handle those three guys on a nightly basis. I feel like his impersonation of Shaq only furthers my belief that there has to be a little bit of black in there. I tried looking it up on the interweb but couldn’t really find anything out there slash stopped looking after 2 minutes of Google searching. Anyways, if anyone out there has an answer to my question, feel free to comment and let me know what the deal is. I’m dying to know.

I was watching TNT last night after the game and I just sat there in absolute awe. Literally couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I could watch Charles Barkley all day. When you look up entertainment in the dictionary there’s a gif of Charles stuffing churros down his throat. I actually thought Shaq was going to fall off his chair and die from laughter. Here’s a recap of just a little bit of what went on last night.


If that isn’t Emmy Award winning television then I’m better than Mike Trout at baseball. It wasn’t in this video but right before this he was blatantly saying he wasn’t even going to watch the Nets/Heat game because he wanted to see the draft, when Ernie and crew were trying to give a shout out to their boys over at ESPN 2 and promote the game on their network. The two best parts of this were 1) when Charles did the churro AND Shaq soda combo, pretty sure I saw that exact move when I was jerking it last night. Just double fisting like you read about. And 2) when Barkley kept saying, “you know Victoria is a secret down there”. You can’t make this shit up. You just can’t. Charles Barkley – 1,000 Everyone Else – 0.


PS – I’m not even the slightest bit joking when I say that I could watch Charles Barkley all day. Like this entire crew should just have a show year round, I don’t even give a shit what they talk about. Have like free throw contests with random celebs or play a game of fucking Monopoly. I would watch them play shuffle board for christ sake, because it would be pure gold. Love the TNT crew.

Fuck Roy Hibbert

Posted: May 8, 2014 by snipe in NBA
Tags: , , ,

Hey Georgetown, fuck you! How’s your NCAA tournament history? Losers. Sick new conference too. Also, even cooler made up dog. What the fuck is a Hoya?


Disclaimer: I am not a fan of anyone who attended Georgetown with the execution of The Answer. Music, please:

I know what you guys are thinking. “What could this red headed fucker have possibly done to result in Roy Hibbert being the dominant force that we all expected him to be after last year’s playoffs?”. Well asshole’s, I’ll tell you what I did. I woke up yesterday morning, and all I had heard about for a day plus was what an absolute joke of a basketball player Hibbert was. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was giving him so much shit, including me. Just look back at the Roy Hibbert XBOX controller post I made a few days ago. But you know what I realized? I realized that I genuinely like the dude. And I want the Pacers to dethrone the Heat so bad it hurts. And I know they can if they all remember how to play like they did at the beginning of the season when they were hands down the best team in the NBA. That’s going to people on their team stepping their shit up and manning the fuck up, such as Paul George and Lance Stephenson, but most importantly, it all started with Roy Hibbert. Now that he got his monster game to get back on track, I expect Paul and Lance to get their shit together too. But anyways, back to why I was responsible for all of this. I sent Mr. Hibbert a tweet yesterday morning. It read something like this.


Undoubtedly, my boy Roy checked his twitter right when I sent that to him. And he read it, let it all sink in, then realized, “You know what? This little fucker is right”. And then he went beast mode on the Wizards. And soon, the rest will be history. So Roy, other Pacers, Frank, Larry, Pacer fans, I simply say you’re welcome. I will gladly take season tickets or a large sum of money to repay me for getting through to your big man, but the simple joy I take out of knowing that I helped you guys out is enough for me.


PS – A large sum of money really wouldn’t hurt. I’m looking at you Larry Bird.




Alright so I wasn’t able to get to you fuckers about the first round of the playoffs, which sucks because it was hands down the best first round in the NBA since I’ve been watching basketball, and probably arguably ever. Can’t speak on the the years before my time because I wasn’t there in person, but I don’t see how this year’s first round could have ever been topped. Now, you all probably won’t believe me but its worth noting that everyone who I thought was going to win their first round series did prevail except for the Bulls. Going into the series, I thought they would pull it off because they play harder than any team in the NBA on any given night. But after the first game o the series when I saw a young, inexperienced Wizards team not only outplay the Bulls, but out-hustling the Bulls, I knew the Wizards would win. The only edge the Bulls had in that series was their hustle. When they lost that edge, they lost the series. I’ll admit that I didn’t think the Mavs would take the Spurs to Game 7, but they have so many strange players that are just mismatches for almost every team that it didn’t really surprise me that much. The Heat were obviously gonna mop the Bobcats. Grizzlies made it interesting, but there was no way Durant was going to allow his team exit in the first round, especially at the hands of the team that ousted him last year. That rivalry is now, in my opinion, one of the two best in basketball, with the other being Clippers/Warriors. Yes I had the Nets over the Raptors, Raptors are just too young and the Nets have more playoff experience on their team then probably any other team in the NBA. Love the Warriors, but there was no way the Clippers were losing that series, especially after all the Donald Sterling bullshit. Despite how poorly the Pacers played after the All Star break, they weren’t going to lose to the fucking Hawks. Can’t believe it took them as long as it did to get their heads out of their own asses, definitely didn’t think it would go 7, but don’t kid yourself, that Game 7 win for the Pacers has awoken the beast. If that first round wasn’t an eye opener for that team, then I don’t know what will. Either someone is fucking someone else’s bitch on that team,the MonStars stole all their talent and are running shit against the Michael Jordan-less TuneSqaud, or possibly the acquisition of Andrew Bynum, aka the biggest piece of shit in the entire league, resulted in some super bad juju for them. Those are literally the only 3 possible explanations for how badly they have been playing lately, we’ll see how they respond in round 2. And amongst the plethora of very good teams in the West, somehow people forgot about how good the Trail Blazers are. They were mediocre at best in January and February, but championships aren’t won in the winter. Anyone who watched them play at the beginning of the year saw how good they could be, and anyone watching their series with the Rockets realized that they have two bonafied stars in Lillard and Aldridge. Now for the second round.


Spurs vs. Trail Blazers

Can’t emphasize enough how much I love the Trail Blazers team. Just a bunch of guys who are not only great all around basketball players, but there isn’t a single attention-seeking, primadonna guy there. Which is rare these days. Ironically enough, the only other team that could boast such a claim would be the team that they are playing. The Trail Blazers are a team on the rise that is going up against the older, deeper, more experienced version of themselves. Gotta go with the vets and the best coach in all of sports here, no disrespect to Portland. Spurs in 6.

Clippers vs. Thunder

Probably the toughest call for me out of the all the second round match ups. Can’t make heads or tails out of the emotional roller-coaster the Clippers have been through over the last week or so. They could ride it to the finals or it could just be too much to handle and draining them, leading to their exit from the playoffs. Or it could mean absolutely nothing since it has nothing to do with the actual sport of basketball. In the end, I gotta go with my boy Durant. He will almost certainly be named MVP in the next couple days, and rightfully so. I think that, coupled with their valiant comeback effort against the Grizzlies, will be more than enough to push them through to the Western Conference Finals. Thunder in 6.

Pacers vs. Wizards

Got nothing but respect for the Wizards after watching their series against the Bulls. Didn’t watch them that much during the year, but they impressed me for such a young team. John Wall is probably a year or two away from being an absolute superstar. But they are outmatched at every other position, including their bench and their coach. Unless the Pacers revert back to whatever the fuck they want to consider that poor excuse for basketball was, this series will be over shortly. I’ll give the Wizards one on their home court, but I just don’t see them winning any more then that. Pacers in 5.

Heat vs. Nets

If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written about basketball then you know how much I fucking despise the Heat. Loathe them. And basically every single person who plays for them. Not gonna sit here and pretend that Lebron isn’t the best two way player on the planet, because he absolutely is. But you know what? I don’t give a shit. The Nets play with this chip on their shoulder that always seems to come out in its fullest when they play the Heat. I know the regular season doesn’t mean shit, but it’s worth noting that the Nets on all four games they played the Heat in this year. And with guys like Garnett and Pierce, who have plenty of history with King James and company, and their incredibly deep bench, I actually like the Nets chances. I watched all four regular season games between these two teams, and the thing that I noticed was that if these two met in the playoffs, that Shaun Livingston will determine the outcome of this series. Not at all the guy you would think of being the X-factor in this, but he 100%  is. The Nets flat out match up very well with the Heat, and have no problem playing the small lineup when Lebron moves to his “point forward” position that usually causes a fit for almost every other team in the league. I’ll admit that I’m making this pick with my heart and not my head, because my brain is telling me “hey idiot, the heat are probably going to win this in 6” but if you don’t follow your heart then what are you really doing with your life. You know? So fuck it. I’m going with my boys in black. Nets in 7.


See y’all when we get to the Conference Finals. Hope this round is as good as the first round, although that’s almost asking for the impossible.