Reddit User PlzSendHelp Has A Good Old Fashion American Dream Story For Us, Except It Took Place In Mexico

Posted: December 10, 2014 by woody in Fun
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well its not everyday that you stumble upon a story quite like this. As many American Dream stories start off, things were not looking good for this guy, who at this point remains nameless. Lets just call him Benton for the fuck of it. Guy seems like a Benton. Anyways, Benton was not happy with his life. Not happy at all. In fact, he was so depressed, that he decided to take a trip to Mexico barbiturates for, as he described in his post on Reddit, “a humane and peaceful death”. What happened next young Benton had no intention of happening, but by some act of God came to be. Here is Benton’s full post on Reddit describing the sequence of events.

Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.

Spent a full week snorting coke off tits, popping pain meds, drinking tequila, eating handfuls of Viagra to fight the whiskey/coke dick, and had three FFM threesomes.

Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fueled orgy I decide life wasn’t so bad after all.

Well there you have it folks. Feeling depressed about your shitty life and contemplating just ending it all? Take a nice trip to Mexico, buy some coke from a cab driver, and spend the next 7 days railing out hookers, blowing coke off of titties and ass, popping Viagra, and violently drinking tequila. I promise you somewhere along the lines you’ll realize that life isn’t all that bad. If it can work for my guy Benton, it can work for you. Sure, you might come home with every STD known to man, and probably some new ones that modern science had previously never seen. But hey, better alive than dead right? Thats a saying I think. Now personally, I would go of the route of just taking a step back and realizing that there are billions of people who have it way worse than we do in America, no matter how shitty we might think things are going, and just think of all the things that I could be thankful for that I tend to take for granted. And then take a couple deep breaths and decide suicide really isn’t the way to go. But hey, different strokes for different folks. You wanna go have a “coke-fuled orgy” with a bunch of Mexican strippers, you go right ahead and do that. Benton is a modern day hero in my book, so I can’t fault you for following in his footsteps. This is America after all. Well, until its Mexico. Whatever. End of rant.


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