Meet Marvin Tramaine Hill II. He’s just your every day 21-year-old guy from Des Moines, Iowa. He was at home, minding his own business this past Tuesday trying to enjoy a nice nap around 1pm, a totally reasonable time to be sleeping, when his annoying preggo wife comes home with some food for her husband, and attempts to wake him up, with a McChicken in hand. Now, Marvin didn’t take too kindly to being woken up from his nap, and when he saw what his wife had brought him, he proceeded to take the sandwich and then throw it at her. He then picked up some of the bun off the ground and threw it at her again. When police asked why Marvin would throw a McChicken at her husband, he told them, and I quote “because I don’t like them”. HA! What a country. When cops arrived on the scene, officers reported that Hill’s wife had mayo on her shirt and on her face. Now this is where I completely changed who’s side I was taking. No one wants to be woken up from midday nap by their annoying pregnant wife with a stupid McChicken in their hand for you, but mayo is fucking gross. If you know me, you know I hate mayonnaise more than anything else in the world. And mayo on the face and shirt is an absolute atrocity. I hope this guy gets 25 to life for this.
All jokes aside, spousal abuse is obviously a huge problem in this country and is something that should never be tolerated on any level, even more so when the woman is pregnant, but if you can’t laugh at the mental image of this guy just passed out midday and waking up pissed off because he doesn’t like McChickens and throwing the sandwich at his wife then you need to grow up.