Tigger is Back! (Maybe, but probably not. Fuck).

Posted: December 2, 2014 by snipe in Sports
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So this video was making the rounds yesterday. I first spotted it when that butthole Brandel Chambley showed the world that Tiger’s swing looked longer and blah blah blah. First of all, hey Brandel, you hate Tiger. Don’t come out of the woodwork and now start slurping him cuz it’s fucking December and no one is even considering thinking about golf. You’re name is Brandel.

That being said, this excites me. Golf needs Tiger. I know there’s way more parody now than there was when he was pissing on (no pun intended) everyone in sight but, regardless, the tour is more enjoyable when the prodigal son is in the mix. Plus, I for one am sick and fucking tired of that brillo headed Irish queer winning every tournament and his annoying bouncy walk thing. Tiger doesn’t need to comeback and win every major. That’s unrealistic in today’s landscape. He doesn’t hit it a mile past everyone anymore. The technology has completely leveled the playing field. Little dorks like Rickie Fowler can hit a 3-wood 290 now. Now, more than ever, the game is played between the ears, and from within 100 yards. That’s where Tiger used to rip your heart out, stomp on it, eat it for lunch, shit it out, put it back in your chest, and then fuck your wife right in front of you. He used to NEVER miss a par putt. He used to make EVERY big putt. EVERY big shot when he needed to. And, for a few months 2 years ago, that guy was back. He won 5 of his first 8 entries and was back to the guy we were all once so captivated by.

And that’s all I ask. Just give me a full season of Tiger and Rory and Sergio and whomever else going toe-to-toe. He doesn’t need to win every major. Just one would be nice. He just needs to be there. I need it. We all need it.

Sidenote: Absolutely LOVE the cockiness in that 6 second video. “Low cut or high cut?”

“hey, snipe, hit a high cut.”

“you got it!”

*promptly hits a driver 200 yards out of bounds. goes back to the bar*

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