According To The Red Cross, More Than Half Of Americans Don’t Know How To Swim…Wait What?

Posted: May 22, 2014 by woody in Actual News
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Yahoo News:

Heading into the Memorial Day holiday weekend, millions of Americans will go for a swim in the nation’s oceans, lakes, rivers and, of course, swimming pools.

But the Red Cross says that more than half of all Americans (54 percent), and two-thirds of African-Americans (67 percent), cannot meet a basic set of water safety standards.


Sad day for America folks. Only 46 out of 100 people know how to swim these days? How is that even fucking possible? What do those 56 out of 100 people do in the summer when its hot? Just put your feet in the water? Run through a sprinkler? Play in a kiddie pool? Jesus Christ. People need to get their shit together. I have been swimming since I was like 3. Last year I wrote about a 16-month-old baby who could swim. Little baby Elizabeth is doing backstrokes like it ain’t no thang and you’re going to tell me that the majority of grown men and women couldn’t stay afloat if their lives depended on it? We can go ahead and chalk this one up as yet another loss for the Red, White, and Blue.


PS – I’m not racist or anything but the fact that two-thirds of black people can’t swim is fucking hilarious. People always say that stereotypes exist for a reason. I played basketball with a black kid in high school who said that he was legit afraid of water and the woods. He said, and I quote, “black people don’t fuck around with that shit”. I thought he was just joking but I guess he was right. Learn something new every day.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s