This Map Of The Drunkest Countries In The World Is Pretty Interesting

Posted: May 13, 2014 by woody in Actual News, Fun
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Couple points to take away from this. No surprise that Russia is the darkest on the map. Sick fucks just swig vodka like its water. I honestly don’t even know if they have water over there, and I’m being dead serious. If they do, it’s gotta be too dirty to drink right? Alexander Ovechkin rips shots of vodka during intermissions to rehydrate, so I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say there’s absolutely zero chance that people drink water out there. As for Africa, no surprise that they don’t drink that much. Pretty sure everyone too high to care about drinking. South Africa drinks a decent amount but that’s only because it’s the most Americanized country in Africa. Australia, solid effort guys. Would LOVE to go out there for a couple months and just rinse some beahs in the outback while Todd throws anothah shrimp on the bahhhbe. The big shocker was that Canada actually beat us in something other than hockey. Truthfully I’m a little ashamed by our effort here. Thought we were definitely better than that. But the biggest thing I took away from this article was that according to the study, the average person who is 15 or older, globally, drinks 26.2 cups of pure alcohol in a given year, according to a report from the World Health Organization (WHO). That equates to a little less than half an ounce of pure alcohol each day. Half ounce of pure alcohol a day? I’m no rocket scientist but I’m assuming “pure alcohol” means 100% alcohol, aka you would have to take 2 and a half shots of you typical 80 proof shit in order to equate for an ounce of  “pure alcohol”. I think that’s how it works at least. And the average person only drinks a half ounce of that, so it’s really a shot an a quarter to equate to the average? I think? Someone correct me if I’m wrong because that sounds like WAY too little. If that really is the case, then I’m fucked. Like, I knew I was basically a full blown alcoholic, but holy hell. The average person is only taking a shot and a quarter in a day? Ummmm recently I’ve been averaging a 6 pack of twisted lemonades during the day, followed by anywhere from 3-7 tall jack n cokes. Which is a fuck ton more than a shot n a quarter. Well, I guess it’s time to just accept facts as facts. Call a spade a spade. I drink too much and I’ll be lucky to see 40. Hey, at least I’m enjoying the ride right?

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