Apparently Jay-Z And Beyonce Are Going Vegan

Posted: December 4, 2013 by woody in Actual News, Music

Yup. The day before his 44th birthday, Jay revealed that he was beginning a 22-day challenge to go completely vegan. Like, normally I have no grounds to call Jay-Z a fucking loser, nor does anyone else in the world, because him and Beyonce are literally the King and Queen of the world, but today is a new day, and there’s a first time for everything. So I take great pride on this hallowed day in saying that Jay-Z is a fucking idiot. When asked about it, Jay-Z had this to say, “There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day. It just feels right!”. Yea, okay dude. Look I usually have no problem with people and the choices they make, because its their life and they have every right to do whatever they want. But going vegan is one of those very few decisions that when I hear about I just immediately lose respect for that person. Vegetarian is bad enough, but fucking vegan? If god wanted us to be vegan, he would have made us panda’s, so we could just spend hours and hours munching on bamboo, day after day. But he didn’t. In fact, he made pandas and other animals so we could eat the shit out of them. Cook them up to a nice medium rare temperature and just devour their asses. So, Jay-Z, fuck you man. Fucking untuck your ding dong and eat a god damn steak and drink a beer like a man.



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