Samsung Facials Apple

Posted: November 20, 2013 by woody in Actual News
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So this is news to me, but apparently a judge ruled that Samsung must pay Apple $1 billion for selling their very similar product inside the United States. Not really sure what the problem exactly was, didn’t realize Apple was the only company that could sell smartphones and tablets, but it is what it is. Apple tried to have Samsung banned from continuing the sale of their products in the US, but the judge shot that down, because “there is no evidence Apple would suffer irreparable harm if Samsung was able to continue selling its products”. So, as a consolation prize, Apple would receive a meager (still wishing they would invent a font for sarcasm) $1 billion. Well, this morning more than 30 trucks filled with 5-cent coins arrived at Apple’s headquarters in California. At first, the security company that protects the facility were confused as fuck and had no idea what the hell these trucks were doing there. Within minutes, CEO Tim Cook received a call from a Samsung CEO explaining that they will pay the $1 billion fine solely in nickels. PAH. Then he said, “face, bitch”. Well, no evidence that that last part is true, but I’m sure he said it anyways because one boss move deserves to be followed by another boss move. Since the document that was signed by Samsung regarding the fine didn’t specify how the $1 billion be paid, there is literally nothing that Apple can do about it, except spend a lot of hours counting nickels. Lee Kun-hee, Chairman of Samsung Electronics, told the media, “You can use your coins to buy refreshments at the little machine for life or melt the coins to make computers, that’s not my problem, I already paid them and fulfilled the law. A total of 20 billion coins, delivery hope to finish this week”.



Hahahahahaha. Have fun Apple.


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