Lion WR Nate Burleson Breaks Arm In Freak “Pizza Accident”

Posted: September 24, 2013 by woody in Actual News, NFL, Sports
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I swear man, life just keeps getting weirder and weirder each day. Shit is fucking ridiculous nowadays. What the hell happened to the world? Apparently Burleson was driving home at 2:25 AM when he was, “distracted by pizza falling off of his front seat”, and ended up crashing into a center median wall. Burleson, who was wearing a seatbelt, was transported by emergency medical responders to a local hospital, a police statement said. Oh yea, and the Lions have come out and made a public statement claiming that “no alcohol was involved”. Sorry but I just don’t see how that could be possible at 2:25 AM. My mom always told me that nothing good happens after 2:00 AM, and for the most part that has proven to be true, although there have also been times when everything good happens after 2:00, so fuck that saying anyways. However, if there wasn’t alcohol involved in this accident then good old Nate must have been high as fucking balls driving a pizza around at damn near 2:30 in the morning. What the hell else could he have been doing? Anyways, this is by far the strangest accident I have ever heard of, and it could mean season ending surgery for the veteran WR, who is a leader on and off the field. Definitely not a good look for pizza. Fuck you Nare Burleson for giving the best, most versatile meal on the planet a bad name.

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