JFK’s 8th Grade Report Card

Posted: September 18, 2013 by woody in Actual News, Fun
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,



Well, turns out the best looking President we have ever had wasn’t as smart as one would think. Granted, this was in 8th grade, and his only actual bad grade was in Latin, which is a dead language that is absolutely useless and shouldn’t even count for anything because no one cares, but still. A 55? Come on pres, you’re better than that. Pretty good English grade, and a stellar showing in the Math department, but the most troubling part about JFK’s report card is the 77 in History. Like hello! You’re a president. Pretty sure you should know a thing or two about the history of the country that you’re supposed to be leading later in life. Fucking pathetic. Oh and by the way, take exceptional notice as to what school he was at when this report card came out. Canterbury School. AKA my Alma Mater. Or whatever the fuck they call the high school that you attended. I know what you’re thinking, “so what Woody, you think that just because our best looking president went to a school that you went to that you’re going to grow up and be the new best looking president?”. Well, to answer that question your undoubtedly thinking to yourself, yes. Yes, that is exactly what my point was by bringing up the fact that we both went to Canterbury. And my grades were much better than his. Look out world!


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