I swear to god I find one of these about once a week. How many bad soccer players are there playing professional soccer? Maybe I should rethink my career goals and just move to China or some South American country or some shit and just start playing soccer. I know I can at least not score on my own goal, or pass out from heat stroke in the middle of the game. How many retarded U-20 Chinese soccer players does it take to score on your own team? Three. The answer is three.