I Think I Found The Worst Soccer Team In The World

Posted: August 20, 2013 by woody in Fun, Soccer, Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Back in February, I wrote about a game between two Peruvian teams when a goalie passed out due to heat exhaustion, only to have an opponent come rushing in and score a goal on the unconscious goalie, later stating that “football is for the living”. Well, turns out the team that had their goalie pass out on the field is pretty fucking terrible. The team in question is Unión Comercio, who faced high-flying Universitario in the penultimate match of the first stage of the 2013 Torneo Descentralizado (Peruvian first division) on Sunday, knowing they needed a win to escape a bottom-two finish. If they complete the second stage of the Torneo in the bottom two, they will be relegated. AKA, it is a must win game for them. In case you were wondering how to not win a must-win game, here’s a look.


I don’t know if that was the defender’s attempt to clear the ball or if he has an IQ similar to George W. Bush, but that’s probably not the best way to win. The goal game in the 58th minute, and as luck would have it, was the only goal scored in the game. So basically thanks to this dude Renzo Reaños is responsible for Unión Comercio being relegated come seasons end. Nice. Although I’m sure fans can’t even be too mad at him, because shit like this seems to happen to Unión Comercio much too often. Here’s a goal that was scored against them just a week before Reaños scored that embarrassing own goal.


Incredible. Just incredible. In all seriousness, I would be willing to bet a lot of money that you could take the 8 kids I played with at school for intramurals and pick up a couple studs from the local U-12 league and we’d be better than this team. Best of luck to all these players finding a new place to play, they’re going to need it.


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