God fucking damnit. With all the advancements in technology we’ve made over the last couple decades, is this the best we can do? We have all these problems in the world, and the best invention we’ve come up with so far other than Yoga Pants and the Internet is this new Domicopter? I’m not mad because this isn’t cool, I’m mad because this is the fucking shit. No more fucking scum bag delivery boys who eat the toppings off of your pizza when they get hungry. No more waiting an hour and 15 minutes to get your pizza, so its cold by the time it shows up. You hungry? Call up a Domino’s, they’ll throw together a couple pies for you, and boom. You’re good to go. The current prototype can deliver two, large pizzas in about ten minutes within a four mile radius of the store. While future versions could hypothetically use GPS coordinates to deliver the pie, the existing model is piloted from the ground by someone experienced in drone flight. Not sure how exactly I feel about the “Domicopter” as a name, but I suppose its better than the other two names they were considering, ”Pepperdroney” and the “Flyin’ Hawaiian”. I wouldn’t mind the Flyin Hawaiin, except that’s Shane Victorino’s nickname and I don’t want a Red Sox player to have the same nickname as a fucking Domino’s delivery drone. Ideally, the company wants to test increasing the payload capacity of the drone in order to carry other items like a two-liter bottle of Coke or perhaps more pizzas. Domino’s UK management haven’t announced any plans to roll out a test of drone deliveries at Domino’s pizza locations in the United Kingdom or the United States. Regardless, Domino’s just took a huge leap ahead of every other pizza delivery place on the planet. Your move, all scientists everywhere. Be smarter than Domino’s. PLEASE. Humanity needs you.
Shout out to Halas for repping Halls Lane hard and giving me the link to this.