Daniela Hulmqvist Is An Absolute Boss

Posted: February 13, 2013 by woody in Golf, Sports
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

danielahulmqvist

I need to marry this chick and I needed to do it yesterday. I don’t even care that she’s not that hot. This Swedish butterfly did something on a golf course that I would never in a million years think would happen. She was just minding her own business playing 18 in Yarralumla, Australia at a per-qualifier for the Women’s Australian Open, when she felt a sharp pain in her ankle on the 4th hole. She looked down and saw a spider crawling off of her, and the pain started to intensify. Luckily, her caddy immediately identified the spider as the infamous Black Widow, and told Hulmqvist that it’s venom could kill a child in less than a half hour. So you think she’d call it quits and go to the hospital right? That’s what any woman would do, probably shrieking the whole way because she saw a spider. Well, this ain’t you every day chica. When told it was a Black Widow and how dangerous they are, she pulled out one of her fucking golf tee’s and cut open her skin around the bite, and then squeezed the venom out and finished the last 14 holes! What a sick fuck! I love it. She only managed to shoot a 74, but considering she could have fucking DIED on the course, that pretty impressive. And what did she have to say about it? “A clear fluid came out. It wasn’t the prettiest thing I’ve ever done, but I had to get as much of it out as possible”. Pahh! Yea prolly! There is no doubt in my mind that if this chick can casually cut open her ankle and rid herself of deadly Black Widow venom, then finish off an 18, that she is an absolute FREAK in the sack. AND she has a sense of humor. After the game she tweeted, “So there is “the shark” “pink panther” etc am I “the spider woman” now? Better than “the kangaroo lady” though..”. PREACH DANIELA!!! PREACH!! I think I’m in love.

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