Top 5 Cartoon Chicks Of All Time

Posted: February 7, 2013 by woody in Fun, TV
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So after my so called “friend”, snipe, put up his post about who the hottest video game broad of all time is the other day, I felt that I should talk about the who the hottest cartoon chick of all time is. Before I get into that, I felt that I had to speak on his article. Because he made two crucial mistakes. First of all, everyone and their mom would put Laura Croft from Tomb Raider on that list. That’s a fucking no brainer. I don’t know where exactly she would fall on my list, but she would definitely be somewhere on there. And secondly, I just wanted to make my case for Chun Li from street fighter. Not only is street fighter a CLASSIC game, but this little Asian chica is an absolute smoke. And she will literally FUCK YOUR DAY UP.


One of the faster bitches you’ll ever come across in your life, her martial art skills are unmatched, as apparent when you used the “Spinning Bird Kick” special, where she spreads those beautiful legs into full split and spins upside down just rinsing the opponent in the face with kicks. I could fall into those big beautiful brown eyes, and her ass is so phat you can see it from the front. My #1 pick every time.

So that’s my two cents on snipers list, now onto the top 5 cartoon chicks.

5) Betty Boop


Basically invented the entire cartoon sex game. She made her first appearance back in fucking 1930, and has had the game on lock ever since. This little slut gave all the homeless, miserable people during The Great Depression something to smile about. You gotta pay homage to those who laid down the foundations of whatever you may be talking about, and Betty Boop is just that. Without her, we wouldn’t have had any of the smoke show cartoons to follow. So thank you miss Boop, that wink will forever be instilled in my mind.

4) Daphne Blake


This kinky fuck was my main squeeze back in the days before I knew why my dick would quadruple in size and get rock hard. Just always playing the damsel in distress card on Scooby Doo, which was an absolutely incredible show. You know Fred was hitting that every night in the back of the Mystery Machine. Even Velma would touch herself when thinking about this red headed harlot.

3) Smurfette


Well if you didn’t think I was weird before by talking about the cartoon chicks that I want to fuck, now your definitely going to. Why this does this tiny blue Jezebel get the juices flowing? Simple. Just look at how she’s playing the field right now, acting all innocent and shit to papa smurf. Like hello, your the ONLY chick in smurf village, you know she’s plowing through cock each and every day. She’s a straight nympho. And we all know practice makes perfect. Gotta love a chick with that kind of commitment. I can only imagine the techniques she’s picked up over the years.

2) Princess Jasmine


My #1 pick if we were talking about just Disney Princesses. Usually Princesses are little stuck up bitches, which is a HUGE turnoff, but Jasmine just gets it. She isn’t all about the glamor and riches and all that bullshit, she just wants to go on adventures and get some Grade A dick from a poor dude with a good heart. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. Her hair just goes on for days and she always looks on point no matter what revealing thing shes wearing. I don’t know why but there’s just something about Middle Eastern chicks that is so god damn sexy.

1) Jessica Rabbit


Pretty sure that picture speaks for itself. This red head just oozes sexuality from every single pore in her body. For starters, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” is one of the best movies that people never talk about. Just a classic. The way she struts her stuff is unreal, she knows she’s the sexiest bitch around and she doesn’t give a shit! I have to admit I have a thing for red heads in the first place, not only because I, myself, am one, but also because everyone who’s anyone knows that red heads are certifiable FREAKS in the sack. I mean, just look at those tits!! Are you kidding me. I don’t even feel weird when I say that I would take her on a ride through Pleasure Town and do her on every rainbow we came across. Jessica Rabbit for the undeniable win!!

So there you have it, the top 5 cartoon chicks I would undoubtedly run a train on if given the opportunity. Now I feel like I have to go have sex with a real life girl within the next 20 minutes or I’m a weirdo. So on that note, peace y’all.

And just for shits and giggles, to shout out the rest of the cartoon chicks out there doing the damn thing and to prove that I’m not the only sick fuck that thinks of these things:


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