Is today the worst day in the history of days?

Posted: February 4, 2013 by snipe in Fun

As I stated before, the fact that today is not a national American holiday is probably a greater American tragedy than when Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by that whacko JWB. Dead serious I’ve been at work for almost 4 hours and these two sentences are the only thing I have accomplished today. I think for I speak for the entire nation when I say that literally NOTHING is getting done today. Every single human being is sitting at their desk contemplating murder/suiciding every person in the office rather than deal with the bone crippling brain devouring hangover they have. If Super Bowl Monday isn’t a national holiday within the next two years than I’m renouncing my citizenship, moving to Bolivia and cutting all ties with America and American football for the rest of my days. I’d rather go through life with one of those fucking things that make my bottom lip huge and fuck chicks with 4 foot long nipples than live in a country where everyone is expected to work on a day that should be dedicated to mourning the end of our favorite season.

So, if America doesn’t do the right thing in the next 2 years, I’ll be chillin with my new best friend. If you need me I will be reachable by way of pelican courier and messages in bottles.

 

WHoa

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