Deep Think: If you could be anyone on earth besides yourself, who would it be?

Posted: February 4, 2013 by snipe in Deep Think
Tags: , , , , , , ,

During my Think today I started to think about this. Naturally, a lot of people out there would rather be me than them because of my talents. However, you may be surprised that I am not necessarily against the idea of being someone other than me. Granted, I am basically perfect. God told me I was created to “return the universe to its original state of awesomeness.” My first thought was that it was pretty unlikely that the reason my dad came inside my mom and then my mom shat me out was for that reason but who am I to argue with God ya know? Anywho, who would you be if you could be anyone in the world other than you? I think about this like 433 times a year. I really go back and forth with it. On one hand, I wanna be William Shatner. For obvious reasons. Shatner is literally the human miracle. Take one look at him and if you guessed that he’s 82 years old you’re a liar of the highest degree. Shatner

Are you kidding me? No brainer. He looks better than me right now and he’s got 60 years on me. Prolly lives the dream eating Viagra like Skittles and fucking 10s like he’s Johnny Football. Sign me up.

On the other hand, I wanna be Magic Johnson. Once again, for obvious reasons. Reason 1: he has AIDS. Remember like 12 years ago when everyone was going nuts about AIDS and HIV and shit? Well Magic Johnson fucked 200,000 broads got AIDS, punched AIDS directly in the dick, bought the Dodgers, and is worth like a trillion dollars. Reason 2: his name is Magic Dick. Literally. “Hey babe what’s up my name is Magic Cock. It’s 13 inches long and it personally told AIDS to go fuck itself. Want to put your mouth around it?”

So, who would you wanna be if you could be someone other than you?

AIDS

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