Posted: January 18, 2013 by snipe in Fun


Everyone is probably like “OH MY GOD! ALIENS ARE GONNA COME AND FORCIBLY SHOVE FOREIGN OBJECTS UP MY ASS AFTER THEY BEAM ME UP TO THEIR SHIP!” Fuck that. I want nothing more than to chill with some aliens. Why? Because I can guarantee those motherfuckers are cool as shit. Guarantee it. Everyone knows two things in life that are guarantees: The sun comes up every morning; and if there’s a movie about it then it’s true. So, Paul was a weed-smoking disappearing little fuck that was just trying to get fucked up and stick his 2 foot long fingers in some strange. Uh, where do I sign? Like imagine walking into a bar with your friend, the ALIEN. Sure, people would be put off at first but once he buys those 4 dimepieces a round of lemondrops it’s LITERALLY game over. Human/Alien group sex extravaganza for days.

“Yo how was your weekend?”

“Eh, not bad. Got hammered. You?”

“Made a group sex video with eleven firebombs and an alien. Nothing too crazy.”

If I get close enough to my new buddy he’ll obviously take me to his home planet and use all their sick technology and fuck all of his alien friends. If you wouldn’t want to hang out with an alien then I honestly don’t understand what your perspective on life is. You’re either driving the car in life or you’re getting run over by the people who are.

Lastly, I’m gonna be really upset if I finally get my chance to chill with an alien and he looks like this: alien-warrior_48

Not many chicks that fill the “group sex video” stereotype would be too eager to hop in the sack with this guy. Where’s your dick bro?

  1. […] Aliens! ( […]

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