Chip Kelly Named Eagles Head Coach: An Expert Analysis

Posted: January 16, 2013 by snipe in Sports
Tags: , , ,


ESPN– The Eagles have hired Chip Kelly after he originally chose to stay at Oregon. Kelly, who was 46-7 in four years at Oregon, interviewed with the Eagles, Cleveland Browns andBuffalo Bills after leading the Ducks to a victory over Kansas State in the Fiesta Bowl. But he opted to remain at Oregon before changing his mind.

The Eagles are known to have interviewed 11 candidates, including two meetings with Seahawks defensive coordinator Gus Bradley. Philadelphia has won just 12 games the two seasons, after winning the NFC East in 2010.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Did snipe outsource and pick the brains of Sal Pal and Jon Gruden on their thoughts regarding the Philadelphia Eagles hiring Oregon’s Chip Kelly? No. I am the fucking expert. And I’m the fucking Eagles fan so, from here on out, you’ll be hearing anything and everything Eagles. Deal with it.

Let’s start by getting this past season out of the way. Obviously, if you’ve paid any attention to the NFL in the last couple years, the Eagles have been their own worst enemy for about 3 full years now. From claiming to be a “Dream Team” and a “Dynasty” before ever playing a game, to actual problems like the head coach’s son dying of a drug overdose, this organization has been an absolute firestorm of controversy and dismay.

However, the silver lining on all of this nonsense is that this team has a TON of talent. Like a fuckton. The underuse of Shady McCoy and the absurd overuse of Mike Vick as a passer is 100% the fault of Andy Reid. Shady is easily a top-5 back in the league and was never made the priority of the offense. Think of it this way, Mike Vick threw 40 less passes than RG3 and Russell Wilson this season…he played in 4 less games. This offense absolute NEEDS to be placed on Shady’s shoulders. This would allow Vick to do what he does best. Keep the defense guessing. What made offenses such as Seattle’s and Washington’s so successful is that they rely on their running game to move the ball. Their use of a dual-threat QB is successful because they establish their running games and ALWAYS have more running plays than passing plays. The dual-threat factor only works when the quarterback is given the opportunity to run the spread option. This is why I LOVE this hire. Chip Kelly has made it pretty clear that he has perfected the speed spread option and with the weapons the Eagles have in Vick (if he’s still around), McCoy, Jackson, Brown, and Avant, Chip obviously sees the similarities between this offense and the one he perfected at Oregon. The offense succeeds because the players are absolute lightning fast. Kelly has been well-documented saying that he doesn’t have a specific coaching style, but rather that he coaches to the style that best benefits his roster. Well, if the Eagles are anything, it’s fast as fuck. On both sides of the ball.

Granted, the Birdies struggled this year but, their is more than just a glimmer of hope. Think about this; not ONE opening day starting offensive lineman was starting by Week 5. Not one. The entire offensive line was injured for the duration of the season which, if you know anything about anything, is nearly impossible to recover from. 3 rookies on the offensive front leads to exactly what happened; disaster. With a record of 46-7 in 4 seasons at Oregon, Chip’s high speed approach to the game, in my opinion, is exactly what this explosive offense needs. Let’s see what he can do with these pieces but for now, Eagles fans should be excited.

Lastly, with the emergence of Bryce Brown and Chip’s offensive genius, we could see some absolutely ridiculous formations including Brown and Shady. Bonerville, USA. Population: snipe.

  1. I like your use of the English language. I believe that words such as fuckton and blatant display of Andy Reid’s son’s overdose along with the specified location of Bonerville, USA bring this magnificent story together.

    Furthermore, I agree on the terms that this is a good hire for the City of Brotherly Love but potential of talent must be maximized. Also, heir defense struggle mightily this season after high hopes brought by the previous season where they were sack monsters. Chip’s hiring of a stud D coordinator will be very meaningful to the success of this organization. Can Nnamdi get back to previous form and not suck balls like last year. The rookie Boykin was a surprise for them in the secondary proving to be their best cover guy. And finally just think.. Bryce Brown = Lamichael James, LeSean = kenjon barner, and Mr. Jackson is equivalent to DeAnthony Thomas. Offense could be scary but can Vick hold onto the ball and not turn everything over or will they find another QB who can do it better…? We shall see.

    Overall, the future might not suck for the eagles but just keep in mind Chip was close to the national championship at college, even made it (until Scam Newton came on his face), but never quite won. Can he bring a Super Bowl to a city that need their football according to “Invincible” because I don’t see Vince Poppali coming through that door anytime soon.

    Kitty out.

    Ps. Love you snipe. Woody sucks cock.

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