hey pete carroll. you’re a dickhead. also, next weeks “bet the mortgage” locks.

Posted: January 14, 2013 by snipe in NFL

PeteCarrollCallsTimeOUT_IceTheKicker_original

How about when he tried to claim he didn’t call timeout? Good one bro. You’re a fucking dickhead. The funny thing is that I fucking love Pete Carroll. So this was hard for me to hate on. The guy doesn’t give a fuck about anything. He plays pranks on his players and talks shit about everyone. Gotta love it. But this whole icing the kicker thing is easily the dumbest thing going. I mean, everyone knows that a guy is more likely to be nervous and miss on the first attempt than the second. Like who the fuck thought it was a good idea to ever give a guy TWO chances. Hey Carmelo, you missed that first free throw? It’s cool I called timeout so you can shoot it again. Logical.

Happy for Matt Ryan though for real. Easily one of the five best quarterbacks in the league, it’s about time they made it to the NFC Championship game and I really like them over the Niners next week. 3 for 4 on my picks over the weekend unlike somebody who claims to know everything about everything.

Moving forward, here are the absolute no brainer bet the mortgage locks for next weekend:

AFC Championship: Ravens @ Patriots: Favorite – Patriots -9.

Tom Brady is the best quarterback of all-time. No ifs and buts about it. It’s in the Geneva Convention. Also included in the documents is that Ray Lewis is the best linebacker of all-time. We’ve had the pleasure of watching two absolute legends of the game for their entire careers. Now, the Ravens have a little bit of magic right now considering the murderer is retiring to the booth with Gruden. After Saturday when we all watched John Fox pussy out and take a knee with 30 fucking seconds left and PEYTON MANNING with the ball in his hands, the Ravens somehow snuck out of Denver alive. Now, that being said, this is not the Baltimore defense of years past. I know the murderer is playing and inspiring them and blah blah but they still gave up 35 points. Now, they have to travel to New England where the Pats are basically unbeatable. Now I know they covered the 9.5 against the Texans but, I feel like Baltimore will keep this one close. Patriots win 35-28. Bet the fucking mortgage on Baltimore. You’re welcome.

NFC Championship: 49ers @ Falcons: Favorite – 49ers -4.

Utterly confused by this line. First year QB on the road in the Conference Ship? In a dome? Against an elite QB? IN A DOME? I’m blown away that San Fran favored in this game. Yeah, I know they’re clicking on all cylinders offensively but, at the least I expected the stereotypical home field advantage -3 for Atlanta. Regardless, I expect this to move down to probably 2.5 as the weeks goes on but it doesn’t matter. I’m taking Atlanta to win outright. Fuck that alien looking motherfucker Copernicus. Matt Ryan is gonna throw for 4 touchdowns all over that defense and Atlanta will meet New England in New Orleans. Atlanta wins 31-24. Bet the fucking mortgage on Atlanta then bet it again on them on the moneyline. You’re welcome.

I WILL KNOCK THE MAN OUT!!

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