Yahoo! Stories Does It Again

Posted: January 11, 2013 by woody in Fun

Yahoo is just a never ending supply of stories that are crazy, funny, happy, sad, inspirational, etc. But this might be the most absurd one that I have seen in my entire life. If you know me, you know I’m no fashion aficionado. I basically wear sweatpant/flannel combo for the half the year when its cold, then abruptly switch to basketball short/flannel combo for the nicer months when the weather doesn’t make me want to kill myself. I have my own steelo and I rock it. But when this story popped up and I saw the picture, I had to take a look. At first, I honestly thought it was some big joke. There’s all these pictures of the “future of men’s fashion”. Let me tell you right now, if we, as a civilization get to the point where these outfits are considered fashionable, I will personally see to it that mankind will cease to exist forever. I’m going to spare you by only showing you a few of the outfits, which you can thank me later for because although at first you will be laughing your ass off, after seeing more and more of them you start to become afraid of what the future may hold, and ultimately upset and disappointed in the human race. Here are a few of my favorites:

The always popular puke-brown miniskirt/dress with high leather boots and boob-pockets, and who could forget the lovely semen-grey counterpart with a bib instead of the boob pockets.

outfit1  outfit6

Ahh yes. Of course, boys will be boys. But I’m pretty sure that thing isn’t a boy and he has a trench coat made of tinfoil on underneath his hoodie.

outfit3

outfit4 outfit5

And how could you go wrong with these two outfits. The guy murdered out on top definitely can’t even see, and the guy on the bottom? Those mittens? What is this, DK mode in golden eye. Who the fuck comes up with this shit. Whats that? Please kill you? My pleasure.

But the winner for most fashionable outfit of the future definitely goes to this guy.

outfit2

Umm hey bro. Just wanted to let you know you have about 12 2×4’s nailed to your face, in case you didn’t notice. There’s no fucking way this can be real. Can someone verify this for me? Seriously. If this is what the future holds for all of us then we are doomed.

Side note: assuming this is real, what the deal with these models. I’m no gayboy, but why are these ugly, polymorphic weirdos modelling. And how fucked do you have to be to agree to wearing this shit. Shouldn’t someone be making a stand and slapping the designer in the face and sternly tell him, “no”. I don’t know man. I just don’t know.

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