December 21, 2012

Posted: December 14, 2012 by woody in Fun

The time has finally come for me to make my case for what exactly I think is going to happen one week from today. I have been compiling evidence for a few years now and trying to construct a theory. So let me start off by saying this, no, I do not think the human race will come to an end, although at this point, I wouldn’t feel bad if that did happen. I’ve lived a great life, loved every second of it, and if I died then I wouldn’t have to worry about paying back all those fucking student loans. And as a race, we’re basically a piece of shit and deserve to die. But realistically, not really sure if that’s gonna happen. So here’s my possible scenario’s for what is going to happen:

First, absolutely nothing. We’re going to wake up and realize it was all a hoax and go about living our lives. This is the most likely scenario, but also the least exciting, so I hope it doesn’t happen that way.

Second, there’s going to be some serious natural disasters. We’ve already seen over the last 10 or so years how frightening mother nature can really be. Whether your talking about Katrina, the Tsunami, all the monster earthquakes we’ve had (Chile, Haiti, etc), a supposedly dormant volcano erupting in Iceland that canceled all flights in and out of Europe for over a week, all the hurricanes we’ve had recently (including Sandy, which caused more damage then any storm has ever caused) not to mention all the unseasonable weather we’ve had the last couple years, and the fact that the ice caps are melting, causing ocean levels to increase, which could cause a large number of unforeseen dangers. When looking at all of it, it’s actually not to crazy to think that we could all go out in a combination of any of these natural disasters. I find this “mother of all natural disasters” scenario to be somewhat likely. However, if that were the case, I don’t think it would wipe out the entire human race. There is bound to be some survivors, who would then have the burden of restarting the human race and making the world a better place to live in. Given the location of Kent, and how its managed to somehow stay for the most part unharmed from past natural disasters while every place around here gets butt fucked, and my incredibly affective survival tactics, I know that I would be one of those survivors, so this scenario happens to put a smile on my face, because it would effectively get rid of all the scum that inhabits this beautiful planet, and we could all have a fresh start on life.

Lastly, and this scenario has become more and more of a possibility in my mind the more I think about all of it, is that the Mayan’s predicted a return date for aliens. Now let me start off by saying this, if your still one of those people who is so naive to think that aliens don’t exist, then your not even worth my time and you are literally a retard. If you think that out of the entire universe, which is bigger than anyone can even comprehend, that somehow we are the only planet where there is some sort of life form, then you should probably just do us all a favor and kill yourself. Now, to argue that there are aliens, but they haven’t been to Earth yet, is a much more reasonable argument to make, but I happen to believe that they have. From all the ancient civilizations’ drawings and stories, aliens seem to be a likely possibility. I mean, when you think about the Pyramids and all types of ancient civilization structures, it is mind boggling for people even today to build such impressive things. In their time, with the lack of machinery and just sheer man power, its even more mind boggling. I happen to think it makes perfect sense that aliens came to our planet a long time ago and taught these ancient civilizations a thing or two, and if they came once then they’re bound to make their return. Now, if they do return, I could see it going one of two ways. Either they could completely obliterate us for basically destroying an entire planet and just being a miserable, disgusting race, or they could return to help us as they did our ancestors. I happen to prefer the second of those scenarios personally, so I hope that they would choose that one.

When it comes down to it, those are really the only scenarios I could see unfolding. For all those out there who believe the planet Nibiru is going to come crashing into us, sorry but that’s probably not going to happen. If a planet was heading for us, I’m pretty sure that NASA would know about it, and although I know for a fact the government keeps an incredible amount of information from the public, something like a planet headed straight for us to blow up the Earth would be a pressing topic and would’ve leaked to the media or something by now.

So obviously, the first scenario I talked about is the most likely of the three scenarios, but its also utterly boring and I don’t care for it at all because I’ve lived about the last 6 years based on the fact that I could die on December 21, 2012, so I’ve been a pretty care free individual and not worried at all about my future and basically just drink every day and do copious amounts of drugs because I figured, hey fuck it, we’re all be dead in a few years anyways. So life has been one big party and if I wake up on December 22 and everything is still the same, then I probably am going to have some changes to make to my life. So fuck that scenario, I’m banking on either mass destruction via natural disasters so I can survive and restart the human race, or aliens coming to set us back on track as a civilization. And if they want to kill all the piece of shit people on this planet, then who am I to stop them. Out of those two scenarios, I’m not really sure which one I think is more likely, but honestly either way its a win win for me, so I could care less. So, there you have it. I’ll check back in a week to talk about what actually happens. Or maybe I won’t….




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