Skydiver Casually Survives 13,000 Foot Fall….Wait What?

Posted: February 12, 2013 by woody in Actual News
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Ummm. What is going on? This dude Gerardo Flores thinks he can just fall 13,000 feet and then go about living his life like nothing happened. Like hey bro, you should be dead. And not the nice, clean kind of dead. The messy, body parts and blood and guts everywhere kind of dead. Quentin Tarantino type shit. Granted his parachute did open and was still open as he was falling, but he still was going 40 MPH as he death spiraled down to the ground. He apparently passed out when his parachute opened incredibly prematurely at 13,000 ft (you’re never supposed to open it at more than 6,000 ft). So he was just falling to his supposedly imminent death and wasn’t even conscious to witness it. Magine passing out 13,000 feet above the ground then waking up on the ground, with a bunch of broken ribs and a lacerated tongue. Just looking around like, “da fuck?”. Honestly mind boggling this guy is still alive. After investigation of the incident, the FAA reported that a piece of equipment in Flores’ parachute was “worn out”, and that’s what caused it to malfunction. Naturally, the Skydiving company is claiming that it wasn’t their own fault, it was Flores’ fault because he had a camera with him, which is something they don’t recommend until you’ve made 100 jumps or some bullshit like that. Yea prolly. I’m sure his parachute malfunctioned because he had a camera in his hand. How that explanation held up is beyond me, I guess that’s just the world we live in these days. By far the best part of the video is when the industry expert at the end is reading the FAA report, and it just cuts to him being like, “that’s disturbing”. Literally the only thing he has to say. No further explanation. Oh it’s disturbing? Gee how long did it fucking take you to come up with that one. Anyways, any man who can fall 13,000 feet and live to tell about it is cool in my book. Someone get me this guy’s phone number so I can drink a beer with him and jump off things.

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