They say golf is a game you can play for a lifetime. So long as you’re upright and swinging, that means you have a chance to make an ace, just like 103-year-old Gus Andreone did in Florida on Wednesday.
Andreone, the oldest member of the PGA of America, made the hole-in-one at Palm Aire Country Club in Sarasota, Fla. He used a driver from the green tees on the 113-yard 14th hole at the Lakes Course.
“I hit it solid and the ball then hit the ground about 30 yards from the green and kept rolling, rolling and rolling,” Andreone said, according to PGA.com. “It fell into the hole, which was cut on the right middle part of the green. Miracles do happen once in a while.”
Anderone, who now has eight lifetime aces, may well be the oldest man to have ever recorded a hole-in-one. The apparent prior record holder was Elsie McLean, who made a hole-in-one at 102 years old in 2007. Anderone’s first ace came 75 years ago in 1939. His last one before Wednesday was sometime in the 1990s, on the same course’s 17th hole.
Fucking golf man. Such a crazy sport. Imagine being 103 and doing anything besides pooping your pants and drooling? I can’t. That is the only thing life entails in my mind after you hit the old century mark. Yet here we have Gus Andreone, just doing the damn thing and hitting aces on a golf course. Something a lot of golfers go a lifetime without ever achieving, and this guy is just swinging his wrinkly dick around the golf course driving a 113 yard hole-in-one like it ain’t no thang. And it was the 8th of his life, the first of which came back in 1939. Just think about that for a second. He literally had his first hole-in-one during the Great Depression. Who in the fuck played golf during the Great Depression anyways? This guy has immediately shot up my list of most interesting people on the planet. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he can even swing a golf club without dislocating both shoulders and having his backbone just disintegrate into dust, let alone get a fucking hole-in-one. I think it’s time to start drinking because that’s the only way this story will ever make sense to me. On that note, I’m outta here. Love y’all.