God damn. Love when a track like this comes out. Slaughterhouse, despite what was in my opinion an underachieving effort in their debut album, are 4 of the dopest emcee’s in the game. And it’s songs like this one that prove it. Shout out to Cardiak and Just Blaze for this beat. Shit is knocking. I feel like every time they come out with a song I always find myself ranking the verses, so naturally I’m about to do that, but before I get into it, let me just say that all four of them absolutely murdered the beat, which makes the verses incredibly hard to rank because they were all dope. I’ve listened to this song about 58 times since it came out the other day, so I feel pretty confident about the rankings.

4. Crooked I – Favorite line – “That’s why the rhymes Crooked I spit is making a mosh pit. Fly shit, sicker than hospice, taken em hostage”

3. Royce Da 5’9 – Favorite line – “This one of them moments where your money ain’t the issue. I can call you corny cuz corny niggas get rich too”

2. Joe Budden – Favorite line – “Since I don’t know if this sucka shit is contagious, you the nigga we see and run. Know you ain’t getting no bitches, you busy being one”

1. Joell Ortiz – Favorite line – “Fuck that broad you’re fucking, that pussy prolly smell cray. Fuck, you ain’t a G, who give a fuck what your belt say”

 

jayz

 

Yahoo - Celebrities have influence, that’s not an arguable fact. However, there is a part of the world that believes certain famous faces yield more power than others. This power, they believe, stems from the backing of an ancient German secret society that quietly rules the world: the Illuminati (yes, the same group Tom Hanks sought in “Angels & Demons”). The mysterious sect is thought to be a front for the rise of the Antichrist– the Devil’s all-seeing eye triangle is their universal sign — and is often accused of masterminding large-scale events (think President JFK’s assassination) in an attempt to establish a New World Order, in which they can rule. 

 

I feel like every year this shit comes out and everybody poops their pants about it. I don’t get it? Who gives a fuck? So a bunch of people that make a bagillion more dollars than all of us per year may or may not believe in the Freemason lifestyle and all that jazz. Woop dee dooooo Bazzle! How the fuck does this affect any of us?

Serious question. If you were in their shoes would you do anything different? Fuck I know if I had a billion dollars I’d have a fucking sanctuary for a house guarded by 400 foot stone walls and a gang of lions and tigers protecting me straight up eating anyone who dared to enter the premises. No exaggeration. I’ve said it for years. I’d live at the end of a culdesac (sp? I gave it my best shot) and have a gigantic wall and a pet lion named Leo that would eat any bandits. People would be like “yo, don’t fuck with that dude at the end of the block or his lion will eat you alive.”

I guess my point is that yeah maybe there are some interesting signs pointing towards some sort of society or some sort of subliminal messaging going but none of us can change it so let’s just sit back and sulk about how our lives suck and all the beautiful rich people are sitting around drinking out of 24 carrot gold chalices and wiping their asses with million dollar bills. Yeah.

 

P.S. Jay-Z literally already told us that he’s illuminati like 20 years ago. So, yeah, let’s just face the facts people.

P.S.S. If you didn’t think Barack and the rest of the government was up to no good then you, sir, are an ignorant boob.

 

 

Rhianna dripping sex per usual. Eminem spitting flames per usual. Enjoy.

 

Full disclosure I hate this song. Hate when Em does this poppy shit for the radio but I guess you kinda have to at this point. At least Rhianna is a walking and breathing boner so we can all splash ourselves in the face to the video. It’s the little things in life realy.

 

Not a bad way to spend 8 minutes. Definitely learned a thing or two along the way. Most of these people I had never heard of. Well, when you have a list of something like this, its a no brainer to rank them. So here we go.

#10. Michel Lotito AKA “Monsieur Mange-Tout” – Talk about a fucking useless super power. I don’t even think I would consider it a super power to be honest. Sweet, you can digest basically anything because your stomach is super thick or some shit. Big fucking deal. Go eat a car loser. They say he died of natural causes, but I’d be willing to be it had something to do with the fact that he literally ate bicycles and shit.

#9. Kim Peek AKA “The Human Google” – Another one that is stretch when considering it a super power. Like sweet dude, you have part of your brain missing so you can’t have friends and just read books all day and can instantly remember everything. That doesn’t make you a super hero. That makes you a fucking nerd. Live a little. Plus Kim is a woman’s name. Get it together.

#8. Scott Flansburg AKA “The Human Calculator” – Same shit here with that loser Kim. I get it’s cool to be like really good at something, and in this guys case its math, but really when does that actually come in handy? Other than impressing, and I use that term lightly, people by multiplying and dividing big numbers on the fly, what else do you do? Wanna really impress me bro? Figure out a way to multiply my bank account by about a billion.

#7. Dave Mullins AKA “Fishman” – Finally we get into the part of the list where people actually have some cool shit going on. So this guy basically holds every diving record there is. He can swim further down into the ocean than any other human being on the planet. Like a lot further. He can hold his breath underwater for 4 minutes and 2 seconds while swimming 224 meters. I would literally just swim everywhere if I were this dude. Or freak people out by just holding my breath everywhere I went. Just refusing to breath and shit.

#6. Wim Hof AKA “Iceman” – So basically this guy just doesn’t give a fuck about the cold weather. Doesn’t faze him in the slightest. I would argue that that just makes him a badass, not a super power, but apparently he practice “tummo”, which is some form of yoga that apparently is usually only mastered by Tibetan yogi monks (don’t know who they are or how to become one but they sound intimidating) which allows you to control your own body temperature. So while this guy is running around for hours in negative temperature in the snow with just a pair of shorts, no shirt, shoes, or socks, he just tells himself, “nah I’m not cold, I’m warm”. Talk about mind over matter.

#5. Ben Underwood AKA “Batman” – Talk about catching bad break. Poor kid was diagnosed with retinal cancer at 2 then had his eyes removed at 3? That fucking sucks. Picture a doctor being like, oh yea hey by the way, I’m going to need to remove your eyes. Sorry doc, I’d rather not, kinda need those bad boys. But you think Ben cares? Of course not. Bro just develops echolocation way past what any human has ever done before, and clicks his tongue to figure out whats going on around him. He got so good at it, that he was able to play basketball, football, rollerblade and skateboard. He can even play video games, which I can’t for the life of me figure out how THAT works. Anyways, Ben would have been higher on the list, but these next 4 are just sick fucks, and he died at 19. Super hero’s don’t die young.

#4. Ma Xiangang AKA “Electric Man” – How about this guy. Just playing with a live electrical wire like it ain’t no thing, only to discover that he is immune to electricity. This dude can light up a light bulb simply by holding it and touching an electrical outlet. He claims that he eventually became addicted to electricity, which is probably one of the coolest addictions I’ve ever heard of. I would fuck with people so hard if i was this guy. Just grabbing live wires left and right and doing “the Marv“, wait for them to freak out for a little bit, then just start laughing and saying, “nah just fucking with you, I’m immune to electricity”.

#3. Mas Oyama AKA “The Godhand” – This fucking dude. Normally I’d say being a karate master doesn’t exactly qualify as a super power, but then I read that he was “obsessed with fighting bulls with his bare hands”. Cause that’s a normal thing to be obsessed with. Try something safer, like Candy Crush you fucking lunatic. Literally killing a bull with a single blow. Then just karate chopping their horns off? Probably one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard of. Plus in Japan he was known as “One Strike, Certain Death”. What a hardo nickname.

#2. Isao Machii AKA “Super Samurai” – Having hand-eye coordination “beyond human levels” would definitely not suck. He just cuts shit perfectly in half, no matter if its a tennis ball coming at him at more than 700 KPH or a pellet being shot out of a gun. The coolest part about this guy, which definitely bumped him up a couple spots, is that he “doesn’t use his eyes, but rather instantly visualizes the trajectory of the object in his mind”. PAH! Yea prolly dude.

#1. John Chang AKA “Dynamo Jack” – Biggest no brainer in the history of no brainers. Not only does he have the best nickname on the list, in retrospect he’s probably the ONLY one of these dudes who actually showed some sort of actual super power. Plus no one even knows his real name. He’s just some mysterious qigong master who become a renowned “healer” in Java, who always refused documentary of his unusual talents, until a team of reporters showed up in the early 80′s to heal one of their members. They had to promise him that the video would never go public before he actually got in front of the camera, a promise which they immediately broke when they realized what they had discovered. By directing powerful energy in his own body that he called his “Chi”, he was able to do some pretty fucking sweet shit. Like igniting a page from the newspaper, on some Dragonball Z shit. After learning of the film’s broadcast, he was never seen or heard from again. Probably was just like fuck this and teleported to some alternate universe. All I know is that it has now become my life goal to master my Chi and just go around lighting shit on fire. Boom.

 

Here’s a track off of Acid Rap. Fucking love the beat on this one. Shout out to Jake One for that. Dude can produce his ass off. There’s a pretty cool “Behind The Beat” video on YouTube of how he put together the track which is definitely worth checking out. I guess he sent them the beat on a Tuesday and the track came out that Thursday, so that shows you that this kid knows what he’s doing, and has some serious potential.

So I stumbled on this video earlier today of some dude pouring molten aluminum into an ant hole, waiting for it to harden, then digging it up and cleaning it. Actually came out with a pretty cool piece of art.

 

Then, when the video ended, I saw this one in the related videos section.

 

And now I’m just sitting here like what in the fuck. Personally I had thought that ants sucked. They’re always just crawling around being dick heads, biting you or just being gross. Turns out I was wrong. They’re actually pretty fucking sick. That fucking city or whatever you wanna call it that they solidified with cement and unearthed is ridiculous. The equivalent to building the Great Wall of China, according to whoever was talking in that video. Don’t know what his credentials are, but with an accent like that I can’t help but believe him. Its crazy to think that all those fucking ants can think as one and make that baller ass crib for them to live in and carry around dirt and whatever else fucking ants do when they’re underground. Pretty fucking impressive if you ask me.

 

Sidenote – Have you ever taken the time to just sit back and think about how many fucking ants there are in the world? Like, when I step on a pussy little ant hill, not even close to the size of the ones in those videos, no less than 6 million ants come racing out of the ground and just run around like assholes. And that’s just one little ant hill in my yard. Times that by however many times the Earth is bigger than my yard and you’re looking at like, I don’t even know how big of a number. A zillion? Is that even a real number? If not it should be. Fucking ants man. Blowing my mind right now.

 

What an absolute classic. E-V-E is a badass bitch. A real ride or die chick. And Gwen Stefani looks good in literally anything. Definitely one of those girls who’s super hot but you don’t know why you think she’s super hot. How about this music video too? Unreal. Hey Gwen, you can’t just leave your car parked in the middle of the street! Can’t help but think of one of the sneaky funniest lines in The Hangover, “Couldn’t find a meter, but here’s 4 bucks”. I miss the days when the Ruff Ryders literally just rode around everywhere on ATV’s and Bikes rolling like 50 deep. Such a fucking power move. Love how Jadakiss is just chilling at the party too. No verse in the song, just kicking it. Barely even gets 2 seconds of face time. And When Dr. Dre comes in at the end and just dumps a pile of money on the officer’s desk I lose it every time. Pretty sure bail isn’t going to be 8 trillion dollars Dre. Relax with the theatrics bro. Anyways, all around great song, perfect Throwback Thursday. Your welcome fuckers.

 

Side note – Eve’s titty tats are probably the best tats in the history of tats.